10 Free Conflict Resolution Worksheets for Couples

Psychotherapy is, at its heart, a process of guiding clients from conflict to resolution.

Interpersonal conflict emerges when there are two or more preferred action plans that seem to be incompatible (Kellermann, 1996).

As a therapist, counselor, or coach, your main job is to help clients identify the situations that are troubling them and guide them through to win-win solutions.

In this article, we share powerful conflict resolution worksheets that can teach parties the pathways to win-win outcomes, converting conflict into shared problem-solving. We will jump right into it by sharing two free conflict resolution worksheets.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our five positive psychology tools for free. These engaging, science-based exercises will help you effectively deal with difficult circumstances and give you the tools to improve the resilience of your clients, students, or employees.

2 Useful Conflict Resolution Worksheets

Differences can quickly spark arguments when people believe that the outcome will result in either winning or losing. These worksheets, by contrast, teach different approaches to ensure mutually beneficial outcomes.

Win-Win Waltz Worksheet

The process that leads to win-win outcomes is referred to as the “win-win waltz” because, like the dance, the process involves three essential steps:

1. Express initial positions
2. Explore underlying concerns
3. Create win-win solutions

The Win-Win Waltz Worksheet from Susan Heitler can guide participants through the process by documenting each person’s initial position, listing each person’s concerns, and coming up with new solutions that address those concerns and create a win for both people.

This conflict resolution worksheet will be described in greater detail in the section on lesson planning.

Conflict Resolution Checklist

Whether you use the win-win waltz or another conflict resolution technique, the Conflict Resolution Checklist worksheet can complement the process. It can also be used retroactively to review your effectiveness in a given conflict resolution situation.

It lists important steps in the conflict resolution process to make sure that relevant factors have been considered, everyone’s main concerns were addressed, and a solid and thoughtful plan was formulated.

6 Tools for Resolving Conflicts at Work

Conflict resolution skills in the workplace enable managers to keep their work environment positive. They also enable colleagues to work together harmoniously (Johansen, 2012; Korabik et al., 1993).

Conflict breeds tension that erodes work quality, while cooperation maximizes productivity and makes the workplace a better, more psychologically healthy environment.

The four tools below can help when conflicts arise in the business world:

1. Early intervention
   It’s best to address potential tensions as soon as you become aware of them.
2. Participation
   It is generally best to bring together all the parties involved in any given dispute.
3. Identify individuals who, even with guidance, do not think in terms of resolving problems
   These individuals will not be good participants in win-win problem-solving, and other actions should be taken to manage them.
4. Keep the problem, the problem
   The vital principle comes from the work of Fisher and Ury (1991). They explain that the problem is often not personal flaws but unclear roles and responsibilities.

For more on managing conflict in various situations, including at work, check out this TED Talk from expert Shannon Pearson.

Remaining calm during conflict: Tips

Another helpful conflict resolution worksheet for conflict at work contains a handy list of ways that your client can stay calm when conflict arises, whether that’s with customers, clients, colleagues, or supervisors.

The techniques include things like

• Counting to five or 10 before speaking
• Inhaling deeply through the nose
• Having a plan on how to interact with the other person

For the full list, check out Remaining Calm During Conflict 1.

Remaining calm during conflict: Reflection

To take this practice further, the Remaining Calm During Conflict 2 worksheet walks the participant through reviewing two separate situations: one in which they did not stay calm at work and one in which they did.

Comparing the two situations will help motivate your client to stay calm and improve their conflict resolution skills in the workplace.

Worksheets for Student Conflicts

Just like couples and colleagues, students can also benefit from using the Win-Win Waltz Worksheet when they face conflict situations with roommates, friends, and teachers.

Conflict at School worksheet

However, if you are looking for something specifically school focused, check out the Conflict at School worksheet.

It provides space for the student to list who the conflict is with, describe what is difficult about it, and identify what resources they need to manage the situation.

It’s a simple and straightforward conflict resolution worksheet, but it may require some guidance from a trusted adult to walk them through it the first couple of times.

3 Best Worksheets for Couples Conflicts

Interestingly, the same conflict resolution worksheets that can guide workplace and school-based conflicts offer effective pathways for resolving differences in romantic relationships.

From My Way – No, My Way to OUR Way

The From My Way – No My Way to OUR Way worksheet is for finding solutions to conflict situations that can arise at home. The worksheet is from Heitler and Hirsch’s (2003) The Power of Two Workbook.

This worksheet creates space for a couple to work through conflict by defining person A’s way of addressing something and person B’s way of addressing it, as well as the resolved “our way” of addressing it.

It’s a simple worksheet with several potential conflicts listed, like the “correct” way to fold towels, clean up after a meal, and celebrate birthdays. It also leaves plenty of space for couples to write in their dilemmas or conflicts.

It’s best used to track the solutions to conflicts, which makes it a great complement to the other conflict resolution worksheets and techniques in this post.

Anger Exit and Re-entry worksheet

When people become angry, they cease to be able to truly hear each other’s concerns. They may disregard all their cooperative skills and instead resort to blame, criticism, and attempts to control.

In the face of irritation or anger, it is essential to have the ability to self-calm as part of the conflict resolution process.

It is generally best to begin the self-calming process by stepping back or out of the anger-inducing situation. For this reason, couples need to develop mutual exit/re-entry routines.

The Anger Exit and Re-Entry Worksheet offers guidance for stepping back and calming down when anger begins to emerge.

Marital Conflicts Questionnaire

For married or long-term couples looking to problem-solve, there are likely several conflicts or issues that need to be addressed. The Marital Conflicts Questionnaire leaves space for up to three conflicts to consider and work on at a time.

It walks the couple through answering some of the most essential questions surrounding a conflict, including:

• What is the conflict/problem?
• When does it usually arise?
• How is it usually resolved (if it is)?
• How do you feel when it arises?

This worksheet helps couples understand the problem so they can clarify the issue, identify triggers, and work together to solve it.

Teaching Conflict Resolution: 2 Lesson Plans

The lesson plans below can be adapted for businesses, students, friendships, or family situations. The communication skills are the same.

Check out these two lesson plans from Susan Heitler to find out how to teach conflict resolution to groups.

Exercise 1: The win-win waltz

These steps of the win-win waltz can be used in a group to demonstrate how to manage two conflicts.

Objective

• Learn to make shared decisions using the win-win waltz.

Materials and setup

• Cue cards: Write one step each on three separate pieces of paper:
  1. Express initial positions.
  2. Explore underlying concerns.
  3. Create win-win solutions.
• Win-Win Waltz Worksheet: distribute one copy to each participant.
• Win-Win Waltz Situation Cards: Prop several cards up so that they are visible to all the group members.

Spread the cards out so there is room for two people to stand next to each.

Procedure

Explain that a waltz has three steps, as does collaborative problem-solving, pointing to the step on each cue card as you explain it.

Walk participants through the following steps with an example couple to demonstrate the worksheet’s utility.

Step 1: Express initial positions.

Peter and Mary want to buy a car.
Peter says, “Let‘s buy a Ford.”
Mary says, “No. I want a Toyota.“

Step 2: Explore underlying concerns.

First, both sides need to explore their underlying concerns.

Ask the group what Peter’s concerns might be. Peter might say something like, “The prices at Ford are reasonable, and the dealership is close by, so it will be easy to take care of maintenance and repairs.“

Meanwhile, Mary might say, “I don’t want to have to keep taking the car back to the shop, and I want as much room as we can get for passengers for our kids and their friends.“

Step 3: Create win-win solutions.

Based on the information generated by the group, they should create a plan to address both Peter’s and Mary’s concerns. Encourage thinking in terms of solution sets that have multiple pieces, like the example below.

Plan of action: “Let’s get a Consumer Reports guide to cars so we have full information on repair rates, roominess, and prices. Let’s also find out which dealers have repair facilities near us. Then we can make a decision together.“

Now, invite one couple in front of the group to try the “waltz” sequence. Use the situation of a couple deciding where to go for dinner or deciding where to go on vacation this summer.

Make one list of all of their concerns and a list of three possible solutions: one partner’s idea with modifications, the other partner’s idea with modifications, and at least one new solution (possible final solution).

Invite the group to weigh in on how well the concerns were considered in the new solution.

Invite other couples to try the win-win waltz based on the other situation cards.

Discussion

• Most couples have systems for making decisions together, such as taking turns on who gets their way, whoever feels most strongly about the issue gets their way, or they compromise (they both give up some). How do these three options compare to the win-win waltz?
• What was most satisfying about this style of problem-solving?
• What will be the hardest part of actually using the win-win waltz?

Conclusions

With the win-win waltz, virtually any decision becomes easy and mutual. Both big and little choices become simple and shared.

Exercise 2: Traps and tips

People sometimes say, “I tried the win-win waltz, and it didn’t work.” Usually, that means they fell into one of several common traps.

By contrast, if they said, “The win-win waltz works great!” odds are they used certain techniques that facilitate success.

Materials

• One copy of the Traps to Avoid and Tips for Success Worksheet
• One copy of the Win-Win Waltz Situation Cards

Objectives

1. Recognize at least three potential traps.
2. Recognize three techniques for success.

Procedure

Briefly explain each trap to avoid and tip for success.

Traps to avoid:

• Frozen thinking: Saying the same thing over and over and not taking in new information
• Attachment to a position and pushing for that solution: Evident in attempts to debate, persuade, and convince
• Criticizing the other’s concerns instead of trying to understand them

Tips for success:

• Be an example to each other and listen to learn.
• Create one list for concerns, a shared data pool, so both partners’ concerns become equally important.
• Tell the story about the blind men and the elephant, where three blind men are touching different body parts of an elephant and giving different descriptions of what they’re touching. All are correct, but the descriptions are incomplete on their own. Only together do they have a full perspective, just like with conflict.
• Think outside the box and be creative when exploring possible solutions.
• Exit now and talk later. When you get too stuck, drop the dialogue and resume later, when everyone is calmer.
• Ask the last question, ”Is there any piece of this that still feels unfinished?“

Pick one situation from the Situation Cards. Ask for two volunteers. One volunteer should role-play a cooperative partner and rely on the tips for success, and the other volunteer should role-play one of the traps to avoid.

The group’s role is to be on the alert for recognizing the trap the second volunteer demonstrates. As soon as the group identifies a trap, that volunteer needs to let go of it and return to productive mode.

The first volunteer should try to be so effective using the tips that both volunteers reach a consensus despite the trap. Debrief by noting what the first volunteer did that was effective even if the second was persisting in a trap.

Ask for two new participants and repeat the exercise using a different trap.

Discussion

What would you like to be able to do if you find yourself or your partner in a trap?

Conclusions

With enough communication skills, couples can avoid slipping into an adversarial stance. If not, take a break from the discussion, and try another time.

PositivePsychology.com Toolkit Resources

Our toolkit contains invaluable tools for practitioners, coaches, and other professionals. The Positive Psychology Toolkit© contains over 500 tools, many of which are highly applicable to conflict resolution.

While the free conflict resolution worksheets described above offer a good start, our toolkit offers valuable resources that can act as advanced practices. They can be used as next steps in teaching and practicing conflict resolution to your clients.

1. Giving Negative Feedback Positively

In any relationship, there are the inevitable hard topics to breach, and by avoiding these topics, more harm is done to the relationship. To approach these discussions in a healthy way, our “Giving Negative Feedback Positively” worksheet guides you through eight constructive steps for a positive conversation and successful relationships.

2. Hot buttons

“When Hot Buttons Are Pushed” is a coping exercise to help clients become aware of their ‘hot buttons’ that cause unhelpful and impulsive actions. This exercise will help them respond more effectively once they know what their hot buttons are.

3. Difficult people

“Looking at Difficult People From a Strength Perspective” is an exercise to guide a client’s thinking about a ‘difficult’ person. Once the client can see the strengths of that person and focus on positive aspects, they’ll be less affected by less desirable aspects.

4. Improving Expression and Understanding

“Improving Expression and Understanding” is a couples therapy exercise with prompts to encourage positive communication.

Access these in-depth tools with a subscription to the Positive Psychology Toolkit©.

A very handy and practical tool that you can use with clients is an Anchor Card deck. We have a collection of five Conflict Resolution Anchor Cards containing visual aids. These micro tools help with emotional regulation and constructive repair.

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others communicate better, consider this collection of 17 validated positive communication tools for practitioners. Use them to help others improve their communication skills and form deeper and more positive relationships.

A Take-Home Message

Conflict often leads to emotional distress, turmoil, depression, unhappy relationships, and separation, but it does not have to be that way. Managing conflict constructively can create opportunities to reach many mutually beneficial decisions.

By using these conflict resolution worksheets, clients can come closer together during the conflict resolution process, learn from each other, and get to know, understand, love, and respect each other even better.

Interpersonal conflict can be a tool to build compatibility and merge different action plans into one. Teach clients how to use conflict constructively and turn conflict into a win-win situation, not only with a romantic partner but also with colleagues, friends, and family.

We hope you benefited from this article. Don’t forget to download our five positive psychology tools for free.

ED: Updated March 2026