Why Is Self-Care So Important?
If we do not practice basic self-care, we may quite simply burn out. We will be unable to decompress or find outlets for our stressors. The worse we take care of ourselves, the less we will have to give. As the saying goes: ‘from an empty cup, we cannot pour.’
Often, self-care advice takes the form of prescribing specific relaxation activities to clients. But this misses the point. The true essence of self-care is twofold: it involves self-knowledge and positive self-talk.
First and foremost, we need to understand our true needs. What does and does not restore us differs substantially from person to person, depending on our tastes and preferences. Our key task is to stimulate our clients to reflect on what it is that they need – their own unique and special sets of self-care activities.
The second core part of self-care is about managing the way we talk to ourselves. Riegel and colleagues (2017) rightly highlights the importance of adjusting our self-talk as a crucial component of self-care. For there is nothing more energy draining and destructive than our inner critic, the bullying voice that tells us we are lacking.
To take better care of ourselves, we need to work on cultivating a kinder, more compassionate voice. Awareness raising and self-compassion (Neff, 2004), then, are the central features of self-care.
Our 5 Favorite Self-Care Worksheets
A solid starting point for embarking on a self-care journey is to take an inventory of how good we are at it already. This Self-Care Checkup breaks self-care down into physical, psychological, social, spiritual, and professional self-care. Checking how we score in each domain provides a good first indication for what we should prioritize.
An even better first calling point is PositivePsychology.com’s Self-Care Check-in, which invites us to see where more attention is needed to ensure we are addressing our self-care needs. It reminds us of the importance of taking active steps to maintain our mental wellness, and helps us identify where we should focus our attention to satisfy our unmet needs.
A few example self-care domains listed on this sheet are listed below:
- Quality time with family
- Time alone
- Friendships
- Opportunities to engage in pleasurable activities.
Given that self-compassion is such a vital part of any self-care regime worth its salt, another great stock-taking worksheet is PositivePsychology.com’s Letter of Self-Compassion. It reminds us that we are often too hard on ourselves and it is sometimes necessary to take a more forgiving, accepting, and caring attitude to ourselves and others.
An excellent resource for self-compassion-based self-care exercises is Kristin Neff’s website. Her How would you treat a friend? worksheet is particularly significant. It urges us to remember how we would interact with a struggling friend. What would we say to them? What tone of voice would we use?
Next, we are invited to think of how we speak to ourselves when we are struggling. Is there a difference between the way we talk to ourselves and the way we would speak to a friend we care about? If so, why? The aim is to treat ourselves with as much care and kindness as we would treat our friends.
In her Changing Your Critical Self-Talk exercise, Neff invites us to notice when we are talking to ourselves in a critical voice. Whenever we feel bad, we are asked mindfully to notice that voice – what it says, which phrases it uses, its tone, and whether, perhaps, it reminds us of someone in our past.
As a next step, Neff asks us to soften this inner judge and to reframe the observations it makes in a friendlier, more positive way. We may even want to supplement endearing and understanding self-talk with warm physical gestures.
3 Worksheets for Youths
Adolescents and young adults benefit greatly by learning to use self-care as a coping strategy for life.
These three exercises are designed to help youths think about how they can incorporate more self-care activities into their daily lives, for increased mental and physical wellbeing.
Self-Care Vision Board
PositivePsychology.com’s Self-Care Vision Board is particularly well suited for younger clients. This tool is available for free as part of our three Self-Compassion Exercises Pack, which you can download here.
Designed to increase self-care and self-compassion in creative ways, it adopts a playful and intuitive approach to the topic.
Clients are invited to create a self-care vision board. It can be drawn or combine cut-out images, photographs, and words. Clients are asked to brainstorm as many positive self-care activities as possible – both activities in which they are already engaging and those they would like to develop.
They are asked to work intuitively rather than rationally, to discuss their representations with their therapists, and then to place the vision board in a prominent place where it reminds them of all the great things they could do to take better care of themselves.
My Self-Care Promise
Another fantastic exercise, for both the young and the old, involves making a simple self-contract.
Self-care is one of the first sets of activities that get neglected when suffering from symptoms of anxiety or depression, and planning pleasant activities can encourage us to reflect on our strengths.
My Self-Care Promise invites the reader to consider times they may be vulnerable to waning self-care. It includes space for a re-affirming mantra to remind them to treat themselves compassionately and invites some ‘if–then’ thinking for when obstacles arise.
Nurturing vs. Depleting Activities
The things we do each day can either enhance or take away from our wellbeing in the long run. While we all find ourselves doing things we ‘need’ to do (e.g., work, looking after others, or running errands), it can be particularly easy to neglect the things that give us life and energy.
The goal of this Nurturing vs. Depleting Activities worksheet is to help the reader become more aware of what adds to or takes away from their mood and energy.
To complete the exercise, the reader is invited to list their daily tasks from morning to evening.
Next, they decide whether each activity is nurturing (energizing, positive, and restorative) or depleting (draining their energy and happiness).
At the end of the exercise, they’re asked to reflect on the balance between the two and how they might introduce more nurturing moments into their lives.
What our readers think
There are so many positive things to take in from this website.
I have completed a couple of the exercises. My aim is to take on board my observations about myself and learn about self care.
I’m looking forward to discussing this with my friends.
Thank you.
Thank you very much ,itcame at the right time as we had a training yesterday emphasising on what are we doing daily to derailt ourselves.This activities will be valuable daily for one to use inoder to look forward to the next day
Good article. Thanks
Appreciate the worksheets.
Thank you for the worksheets!
Really great knowledge I have gained. I learned so much about self compassion.
Hi Meenu,
So glad you found these resources helpful. Thanks for being a reader!
– Nicole | Community Manager
Greetings Dr. Schaffner!
Wonderful article! Thank you so much for sharing all the amazing self-care resources available for us to use, especially during these times. Thank you for sharing the Self Care Assessment Wheel as well and your kind words! I greatly appreciate it. I wanted to reach out and request Self-Care Wheel to be linked to my Self-Care Wheel website page: http://www.olgaphoenix.com/key-offerings/self-care-wheel/. It contains additional information, Self-Care Wheels translated in other languages, downloadable resources, etc. The current link mentioned in this article is to 3rd non-affiliated party website. Thank you so very much for all your work! In deep gratitude, Olga Phoenix
Hi Olga,
Thanks for reaching out to us. Yes, it certainly makes sense to link your original source. I’ll notify our editing team and get this link amended 🙂
– Nicole | Community Manager
Hi Nicole!
Thank you so very much! Your time and work is greatly appreciated! Olga Phoenix
I really liked the way the video was put together…I understand the importance of a self-care
Hi Yvette,
So glad you enjoyed the resources here. We offer a tool on the topic of self-compassion (which is an important part of self-care) which may be of interest to you. This tool is available for free download here.
– Nicole | Community Manager