The #1 Reason Why We Want More And More (And More)

more more never enoughThe #1 thing that holds people back from having a smoothe-as-honey lifestyle, where you can just get up, feel great, and connect with other people in meaningful ways, is…

(Drum roll)

Not being grateful.

You can have all the money and achievements in the world. But, if you are grateful for nothing, it’s like no matter what you make or do, life simply will not get any better. It’s like everything falls into the black hole of things we take for granted.

This is one of the reasons why we end up striving for more in our lives. More friends, more money, more status. Because how can you ever have enough if you don’t appreciate what you have?

And you know what?

I think that’s a deep shame. Especially because most of us (in the Western world) should be grateful for our lives in a way that’s almost apologetic.

And yes, we get used to things so easily. We take our luxuries for granted. We take the streets we walk on for granted. And at times, we even take our spouse’s love for granted.

Psychologists call this concept ‘hedonic adaptation’ and it’s a bitch if ever there was one.

And you know what’s the saddest part? (and after this I’ll stop preaching)

In getting used to the wonderful things in our lives, we are falsely assuming they will last.

Newsflash: they won’t.

Nothing will.

So Seph, what’s the solution?

I’m glad you asked.

The most powerful way I’ve found to overcome the danger of getting used to things is to be actively grateful for them.

So I hereby invite you to lift the veil that is clouding the wonders life has in store for you, every day again, by expressing your gratitude.

By saying to someone: “Thank you so much for doing [x], it means the world to me”.

By jotting down 3-5 things you’re grateful for before you go to sleep.

By looking your kids deeply into their eyes and knowing that the moment will not last forever and letting that knowledge transform into a mindfulness that allows you to be fully present with them.

Because so many of us positive psychology practitioners KNOW how powerful meditation, gratitude and self-compassion are, but so few of us are actually practicing as we preach.

So let’s change that.

Right here.

Right now.

If you are with me, simply write down 3 things you are grateful for today.

[…take a minute…]

Done?

Great.

It’s gratitude month on our blog and Courtney and Joaquin have already kicked it off with two great new pieces that I highly recommend you to give a read:

and

I hope you will enjoy these and our upcoming pieces on gratitude this month.

Like Tal Ben-Shahar said:

“When you appreciate the good, the good appreciates.”

And with that quote, I’ll leave you, for now.

In love and gratitude,

Seph

About the Author

Seph Fontane Pennock, BBA, is the co-founder of PositivePsychology.com. Seph strongly believes that we can deal with most of life’s absurdities by leveraging human connection and challenging ourselves, instead of using dogma or pharmaceutical drugs.

Comments

  1. Ishan Thapar

    Interesting

    Reply
  2. Paula

    Great article which bring us so much of appreciation in our simple life. Thanks for your hard works, it means so much to so many people including me. Xoxo

    Reply
  3. Jay Liew

    Thank you for sharing. I’m constantly grateful for family, loved ones and for food on the table. Even though life’s a challenge but I can always count of my blessings and strive harder again the next day.

    Reply
  4. Nikos Alepidis

    Great work, thank you!

    Reply
  5. John Fred

    Good writing style. Different from what we read usually. I like the usage (Drum roll)

    Reply
  6. Asad Meah

    Thank you

    Reply
  7. Mr.Green

    Thank you Seph… this article has helped as i am a college student and am currently very sick(which adds a ton of weight to the situation) and i feel like i constantly want more than i already have and i remember when i use to be just happy with everything that i had the only thing i use to want more of is more skill to improve on myself but i feel like i always want more than just self improvement … i want more materialistic things and its bringing me down … your article has helped as it made me just be grateful to appreciate the things that i have now that i once thought i would never have. Thank you for helping me

    Reply
  8. Amit Malviya

    Wow! great blog. Hey Seph i like your blog. i am also a blogger, but on one can think about our needs or requirement. day by day we increase our demands.

    Reply
  9. Betsy

    Hi Seph, your newsletter with the link to this post are very timely for me. Last night I posted a piece about having a hole in my soul on my blog site JourneyofWe.com. Gratitude practices may be a way for me to begin making my soul whole! With gratitude and appreciation 😉

    Reply

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