Early caregiver-child bonds shape emotional development & future relationships.
Attachment styles—secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized—impact relationship dynamics.
Attachment theory informs therapy, parenting, and education but faces cultural and stability-related critiques.
You may, like me, have an initial sense that old theories such as attachment theory have had their day.
And yes, there is newer, shinier material available that explains the importance of emotional and social connection to our wellbeing.
The thing is though, this is foundational work that helps to explain much of our relational challenges in later life (Connors, 2011). This is made evident by the resurgence in interest in the theory and how it can be applied in therapy (Harlow, 2019).
This article provides a reminder overview of what attachment theory is all about and explores the relevance of this theory in current contexts. We also review our best pick of books that will help you to make sense of and make use of attachment theory in your practice.
What Is Attachment Theory? Definition & Background
Attachment theory explains how emotional bonds form between individuals, especially between a child and their primary caregiver (Salcuni, 2015).
Originating from the work of British psychologist John Bowlby (1969), it is based on the premise that the quality of our early relationships with caregivers has a significant impact on our development as human beings.
The thought is that humans are biologically programmed to form attachments to survive, and that the quality of these attachments affects our development and our experience of life and relationships throughout our life (Bowlby, 1979).
At the core of attachment theory is the idea that children will reach out to a caregiver during times of distress or uncertainty (Bowlby, 1979; Harlow, 2019). The emotional connection built during these interactions forms the foundation of secure or insecure attachments. As a child grows, this bond influences how they navigate future relationships and cope with stress.
To find out more and if reading is your thing, you may prefer our blog article Attachment Styles in Children (& How to Raise Secure Kids. Alternatively, watch this video to learn more about attachment styles in children and how they influence development.
The attachment theory: how childhood affects life
Emotional attachment
Emotional attachment refers to the deep emotional bonds that we form to provide security and comfort (Cooke et al., 2019). It influences our quality of life and wellbeing throughout our life (Consedine & Magai, 2003).
Secure attachment is generally associated with higher levels of quality of life and wellbeing, whereas insecure attachment is linked to poorer quality of life and various mental health challenges (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2012).
The Harlow Experiments
Psychologist Harry Harlow’s famous experiments with rhesus monkeys in the 1950s provided early insight into the importance of emotional attachment (Harlow & Zimmermann, 1959; Suomi, 2001).
In these experiments, infant monkeys were given the choice between two surrogate mothers — one made of wire and offering food, and another made of soft cloth offering comfort but no food.
The monkeys consistently chose the comforting cloth mother over the wire mother, highlighting that comfort and emotional closeness were more important to developing attachment than the satisfaction of basic physiological needs like hunger (Rosmalen et al., 2022). You can learn more in our article Harlow’s Monkey Experiments: 3 Findings About Attachment.
Although considered highly controversial and disturbing today, Harlow’s experiments laid the groundwork for understanding the emotional and physical needs that underlie attachment, emphasizing that attachment is not just about survival but also emotional wellbeing. So, let’s see what Bowlby did with these initial findings.
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Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
Bowlby (1979) expanded on these ideas to develop his theory of attachment, proposing that children are born with an innate drive to form bonds with caregivers to ensure survival. He proposed that children’s attachment behavior — crying, clinging, and following — is a way to keep caregivers close.
Bowlby (1969, 2018) introduced the concept of the “secure base,” where a child uses a caregiver as a stable point of safety from which to explore the world. The child gains confidence in exploring their environment when they feel secure in the attachment to their caregiver.
He also identified the importance of early relationships and how disruptions in these bonds could lead to attachment issues later in life, such as anxiety or emotional insecurity. These findings have been supported and are still being expanded on (Connors, 2011).
Attachment theory is the science of love - Anne Power
Anne Power’s TEDx Talk provides an interesting perspective on Bowlby’s attachment theory principles.
Strange Situation (Ainsworth’s Attachment Theory)
Mary Ainsworth (1969), a colleague of Bowlby, further developed attachment theory through her “Strange Situation” experiment. In this experiment, infants were observed in a series of interactions involving their caregivers, a stranger, and brief periods of separation.
Based on the infants’ responses to these situations, three primary attachment styles were identified:
Secure attachment
The child feels comfortable exploring when the caregiver is present and shows distress when the caregiver leaves. A child with secure attachment is easily soothed when the caregiver returns.
Insecure–avoidant attachment
The child is indifferent to the caregiver’s presence and avoids them upon return, indicating an emotional disconnection.
Insecure–ambivalent/resistant attachment
The child is anxious before separation and shows ambivalence or resistance to the caregiver upon their return.
Later, a fourth style, disorganized attachment, was added by other researchers (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991). These children display a mix of behaviors that indicate confusion or fear toward their caregivers.
The 4 Stages of Attachment
Studies have found that children develop attachment through a series of four stages from infancy through early childhood (Bowlby, 2018).
Pre-attachment (birth to 6 weeks): Infants show no particular attachment to a specific caregiver but engage in behaviors such as crying or smiling to prompt caregiving responses.
Attachment-in-the-making (6 weeks to 6–8 months): Infants begin to show preferences for their primary caregiver but don’t protest when separated from them.
Clear-cut attachment (6–8 months to 18–24 months): Infants become more attached to their primary caregiver and may show separation anxiety when they leave.
Formation of a reciprocal relationship (18–24 months and beyond): Children grow and become more independent and understand that the caregiver will return. This understanding results in decreasing levels of anxiety during separations.
Factors influencing attachment
If you have experience working with children, you’ll be aware that there are many factors that may influence the development of attachment between a caregiver and a child. These include environmental, caregiver, and infant factors. Darvishvand et al. (2018) identified the following:
Caregiver factors such as age, education level, financial security, psychosocial security, and health during and experience of pregnancy and labor, as well as postpartum care such as rooming-in, skin-to-skin contact, early initiation of breastfeeding, etc.
Infant factors such as health problems, premature birth, sex, and moods
In addition, genetic, environmental, and cultural factors have also been found to influence attachment. Cooke et al. (2019) identified the following examples:
Genetic factors such as variations in the oxytocin receptor gene could affect a child’s ability to form secure attachments by influencing trust and bonding behaviors.
Environmental factors such as high-stress environments (such as households with financial instability or parental conflict) can contribute to insecure attachment patterns in children.
Cultural factors such as those seen in collectivist cultures, like Japan, emphasize interdependence, while in individualistic cultures, such as the United States, independence is often prioritized in caregiving, shaping attachment differently.
The long-term impact of early attachment
Early attachment experiences profoundly affect future relationships and emotional wellbeing (Thompson, 2000). Research suggests that securely attached children grow into adults who are better able to form healthy, trusting relationships (Groh et al., 2017). They are more likely to display high self-esteem and have better emotional regulation (Cooke et al., 2019).
In contrast, children with insecure attachments may struggle with relationships, experience anxiety, or have difficulty managing emotions (Doyle & Cicchetti, 2017).
In severe cases, attachment disruptions in early childhood can lead to attachment disorders, which may manifest as avoidance, aggression, or extreme emotional dependency (Kochanska & Kim, 2012).
Attachment Styles & Their Impact on Relationships
Attachment styles continue to shape individuals’ relationships throughout adulthood (Domingue & Mollen, 2009).
This means that adult attachment mirrors childhood patterns. So, if your clients are struggling to form healthy adult relationships, they may benefit from an exploration of their attachment style.
From an adult perspective, the attachment styles would present as follows (Domingue & Mollen, 2009):
Secure adults tend to have healthy, trusting, and supportive relationships.
Anxious-preoccupied adults often crave intimacy but may struggle with feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment.
Dismissive-avoidant adults are likely to avoid emotional closeness and may prioritize independence over intimate relationships.
Fearful-avoidant adults may long for connection with a fear of getting too close, often resulting in conflicting emotions and unstable relationships.
Helping your client understand their attachment style can offer valuable insights into their relationship dynamics and emotional behavior. Andrew Huberman expands on this idea in his Huberman Lab episode titled “The Science of Love, Desire and Attachment.”
The science of love, desire and attachment
Practical Applications
Attachment theory has been applied in various fields, including psychology, education, social care, and health care (Salcuni, 2015).
Educators use attachment principles to create supportive environments that encourage secure bonds between students and teachers, helping to foster positive academic and social outcomes (Harlow, 2019).
Attachment theory is also central to parenting programs, which teach caregivers how to form secure attachments with their children (Rosabal‐Coto et al., 2017).
The social system uses attachment theory to make decisions about the best interests of children (Harlow, 2019).
You can use attachment theory in your therapy practice to help clients understand how their early experiences shape their current relationships and emotional patterns (Burke et al., 2016). This understanding can be used as a building block for richer and healthier lived experiences.
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Criticisms of Attachment Style Theories
While attachment theory is widely accepted, it has its critics. For example, Ein-Dor and Hirschberger (2016) feel that it overemphasizes stability and neglects evolutionary trade-offs.
Fegran et al. (2008) argue that the theory overly emphasizes the role of the mother in a child’s development, potentially neglecting the contributions of other caregivers like fathers and grandparents.
Others question the universality of the theory, arguing that cultural differences in child-rearing may challenge the Western-centric framework of attachment theory (Thompson et al., 2022).
Furthermore, some researchers believe that attachment styles are more fluid than Bowlby and Ainsworth suggested, changing throughout life in response to new experiences and relationships (Belsky, 2002).
3 Attachment Theory Books
1. A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development – John Bowlby
A Secure Base explores seminal ideas regarding the significance of children’s early relationships and the role they play in shaping their emotional wellbeing and future relationships.
Building on his attachment theory, Bowlby discusses how a secure attachment between a parent and child forms the foundation for healthy psychological development and emotional regulation.
The book delves into key concepts such as the secure base, emotional security, and psychological wellbeing within the context of developmental attachment. It also reflects on the implications of attachment theory for clinical practice, child-rearing, and understanding psychological disorders.
If you’re new to attachment theory, this is a great place to start.
2. Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) With Individuals, Couples, and Families – Susan Johnson
This book applies the principles of attachment theory to psychotherapy, with particular focus on:
The foundational role of attachment theory in understanding emotional bonds and how they influence relationships throughout life
How EFT helps individuals, couples, and families identify and reframe emotional responses rooted in attachment needs, leading to healthier and more secure relationships
Practical therapeutic interventions with step-by-step guidelines for applying EFT in therapeutic settings, addressing common relationship issues like conflict, emotional disconnection, and insecurity
Real-world case studies illustrating how EFT is used to help clients strengthen their emotional bonds and create positive change in relationships
The book is aimed at therapists who are interested in how attachment theory can be applied to improve emotional wellbeing and relationship dynamics.
3. Attachment and Interaction: From Bowlby to Current Clinical Theory and Practice – Mario Marrone
Marrone discusses the evolution of attachment theory from John Bowlby’s foundational work to its modern clinical applications. The book provides an in-depth examination of how attachment theory has been integrated into current therapeutic practices and psychological understanding. Some additional topics include:
The origins of attachment theory through Bowlby’s work and how it has influenced developmental psychology and psychoanalysis
How attachment theory interacts with other psychological frameworks, such as object relations and relational psychoanalysis, highlighting its relevance across different schools of thought
How attachment theory is applied in psychotherapy, particularly in working with individuals who have experienced trauma, loss, or dysfunctional early relationships, with explanations of how understanding attachment dynamics can help therapists address issues such as anxiety, depression, and relationship problems
New developments in the field, particularly the impact of neuroscience on our understanding of attachment and emotional regulation
This book is both theoretical and practical and will provide you with insight into using attachment theory as a tool for therapy.
17 Exercises for Positive, Fulfilling Relationships
Empower others with the skills to cultivate fulfilling, rewarding relationships and enhance their social wellbeing with these 17 Positive Relationships Exercises [PDF].
Our repository is full of useful tools to help you support your clients in building healthier ways of engaging with others in relationships. A few that are particularly pertinent to attachment theory include the following:
The Getting to Know Your Partner Worksheet can be used to help your clients learn more about their partner. By sharing details of themselves, they can begin to improve closeness and strengthen bonds, leading to more secure attachment.
The masterclass covers the science behind positive relationships, focusing on effective communication, empathy, and emotional intelligence. The combination of theory and actionable exercises provides you with a comprehensive approach to help your clients apply the pillars of positive relationships.
If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others build healthy relationships, this collection contains 17 validated positive relationships tools for practitioners. Use them to help others form healthier, more nurturing, and life-enriching relationships.
A Take-Home Message
Attachment theory revolutionized our understanding of emotional development, emphasizing that the bonds formed in infancy shape our capacity for trust, intimacy, and emotional regulation throughout life. It provided a valuable framework for exploring how early experiences influence later relationships.
While the theory has its criticisms, its practical applications in therapy, parenting, and education continue to offer powerful tools for improving emotional wellbeing and fostering secure connections.
Poor attachment in early life can lead to difficulties in emotional regulation, low self-esteem, and challenges in forming healthy relationships in adulthood. It may result in insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment, which can impact trust, intimacy, and how individuals cope with stress and emotional challenges.
What are the four principles of attachment theory?
The four principles of attachment theory are secure attachment, insecure-avoidant, insecure-ambivalent/resistant, and disorganized attachment.
What is the most unhealthy attachment style?
The most unhealthy attachment style is disorganized attachment. It is characterized by confusion, fear, and inconsistent behavior toward caregivers (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991).
References
Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1969). Individual differences in strange-situational behaviour of one-year-olds. Retrieved from https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED056742
Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226–244. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.61.2.226
Bowlby, R. (2018). Fifty years of attachment theory. Routledge.
Burke, E., Danquah, A., & Berry, K. (2016). A qualitative exploration of the use of attachment theory in adult psychological therapy. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 23(2), 142–154. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.1943
Connors, M. (2011). Attachment theory: A “secure base” for psychotherapy integration. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 21(3), 348–362. https://doi.org/10.1037/A0025460
Consedine, N., & Magai, C. (2003). Attachment and emotion experience in later life: The view from emotions theory. Attachment & Human Development, 5(2), 165–187. https://doi.org/10.1080/1461673031000108496
Cooke, J., Kochendorfer, L., Stuart-Parrigon, K., Koehn, A., & Kerns, K. (2019). Parent-child attachment and children’s experience and regulation of emotion: A meta-analytic review. Emotion, 19(6), 1103–1126. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000504
Darvishvand, M., Rahebi, S., & Khalesi, Z. (2018). Factors related to maternal-infant attachment. Shiraz E-Medical Journal, 19(12), Article e80369. https://doi.org/10.5812/SEMJ.80369
Domingue, R., & Mollen, D. (2009). Attachment and conflict communication in adult romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(5), 678–696. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407509347932
Doyle, C., & Cicchetti, D. (2017). From the cradle to the grave: The effect of adverse caregiving environments on attachment and relationships throughout the lifespan. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 24(2), 203–217. https://doi.org/10.1111/cpsp.12192
Ein-Dor, T., & Hirschberger, G. (2016). Rethinking attachment theory. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 25(4), 223–227. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721416650684
Fegran, L., Helseth, S., & Fagermoen, M. (2008). A comparison of mothers’ and fathers’ experiences of the attachment process in a neonatal intensive care unit. Journal of Clinical Nursing, 17(6), 810–816. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2702.2007.02125.x
Groh, A., Fearon, R., IJzendoorn, M., Bakermans-Kranenburg, M., & Roisman, G. (2017). Attachment in the early life course: Meta‐analytic evidence for its role in socioemotional development. Child Development Perspectives, 11(1), 70–76. https://doi.org/10.1111/CDEP.12213
Harlow, H. F., & Zimmermann, R. R. (1959). Affectional response in the infant monkey: Orphaned baby monkeys develop a strong and persistent attachment to inanimate surrogate mothers. Science, 130(3373), 421–432. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.130.3373.421
Harlow, E. (2019). Attachment theory: Developments, debates and recent applications in social work, social care and education. Journal of Social Work Practice, 35(1), 79–91. https://doi.org/10.1080/02650533.2019.1700493
Kochanska, G., & Kim, S. (2012). Toward a new understanding of legacy of early attachments for future antisocial trajectories: Evidence from two longitudinal studies. Development and Psychopathology, 24(3), 783–806. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579412000375
Rosabal‐Coto, M., Quinn, N., Keller, H., Vicedo, M., Chaudhary, N., Gottlieb, A., Scheidecker, G., Murray, M., Takada, A., & Morelli, G. (2017). Real-world applications of attachment theory. In H. Keller & K. A. Bard (Eds) The cultural nature of attachment: Contextualizing relationships and development (pp. 335–354). MIT Press.
Rosmalen, L., Luijk, M., & Horst, F. (2022). Harry Harlow’s pit of despair: Depression in monkeys and men. Journal of the History of the Behavioral Sciences, 58(2), 204–222. https://doi.org/10.1002/jhbs.22180
Thompson, R., Simpson, J., & Berlin, L. (2022). Taking perspective on attachment theory and research: Nine fundamental questions. Attachment & Human Development, 24(5), 543–560. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616734.2022.2030132
About the author
Susan McGarvie, Ph.D., is a writer, researcher, and therapist in private practice. With more than twenty years' experience working in the health and NPO sectors, her research, writing, and work have focused on supporting practitioners to better manage stress and create a balanced sense of wellbeing.
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What our readers think
Anne
on August 7, 2024 at 21:23
I am truly grateful for this information. I have found it to be very informative and comprehensive. I was able to garner the attachment styles concepts I needed from your write up. Once again thank you very much
Good question! We answer this question by linking the different attachment styles to adult behaviors traits in this article: https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-style-worksheets/ (see the subsection ‘Attachment Theory in Psychology: 4 Types & Characteristics’)
I think that a big limitation when discussing Attachment Theory, that I haven’t seen addressed, is the effect of trauma on a older child past the early defining stage, or an adult. Bullying, accidents and injury, severe illness, family upheaval, or other significant life events can significantly affect a person’s psychological state, and thus alter a Securely Attached style to one of the other types.
Thank you for an informative article! Do you happen to know of any non-profit organizations that focus on stopping the cycle of maladaptive attachment in families? I’m a student with some ideas for a program that I’d like to pitch to some organizations that serve at risk individuals.
Glad you found the article helpful — that sounds like an interesting idea! Your question’s a little tricky. It’s hard to know how explicitly existing services draw on Bowlby’s principles. However, I suspect that the messages of the framework are likely embedded in various parent support groups and educational opportunities. If you’re interested in the U.S. specifically, maybe check out some of the services listed here and inquire about any curriculums.
Psychology Today has a great directory you can use to find therapists in your local area. Usually the therapists provide a summary in their profile of the types of areas they work with, but they may not be as specific as saying ‘attachment’. Perhaps look for the word ‘relationships’ in the profile, and then reach out to inquire more about the specifics.
very interesting article. I would keen to know how does attachment theory relate to primary caregivers who are in the military and have to deploy (unaccompanied) overseas for six to 24 month periods? Additionally, what is he impact on the child?
These are great questions. Unfortunately, I’m not an expert on this topic! But I think you might find some useful information (and really rich qualitative accounts from members of military families) in this paper by Russotti and colleagues (2016), which looks at the process of reintegrating the deployed parent back into the family and how the child reconnects with that parent. The references in it might also point you in the right direction.
Psychological background of children’s behaviours is of great interest having studied Psychology as a graduate. Reading this reminded me of those days, very thought provoking!
What our readers think
I am truly grateful for this information. I have found it to be very informative and comprehensive. I was able to garner the attachment styles concepts I needed from your write up. Once again thank you very much
muchas gracias por la información
how does attachment influences personality development in adulthood.
Hi Rhema,
Good question! We answer this question by linking the different attachment styles to adult behaviors traits in this article: https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-style-worksheets/ (see the subsection ‘Attachment Theory in Psychology: 4 Types & Characteristics’)
Hope this helps!
– Nicole | Community Manager
I think that a big limitation when discussing Attachment Theory, that I haven’t seen addressed, is the effect of trauma on a older child past the early defining stage, or an adult. Bullying, accidents and injury, severe illness, family upheaval, or other significant life events can significantly affect a person’s psychological state, and thus alter a Securely Attached style to one of the other types.
Thank you for an informative article! Do you happen to know of any non-profit organizations that focus on stopping the cycle of maladaptive attachment in families? I’m a student with some ideas for a program that I’d like to pitch to some organizations that serve at risk individuals.
Hi AH,
Glad you found the article helpful — that sounds like an interesting idea! Your question’s a little tricky. It’s hard to know how explicitly existing services draw on Bowlby’s principles. However, I suspect that the messages of the framework are likely embedded in various parent support groups and educational opportunities. If you’re interested in the U.S. specifically, maybe check out some of the services listed here and inquire about any curriculums.
Hope this helps!
– Nicole | Community Manager
Thank you, Nicole!
Hi! How would one find therapists in my local area that focus on attachment theory/disorders??
Hi Adriana,
Psychology Today has a great directory you can use to find therapists in your local area. Usually the therapists provide a summary in their profile of the types of areas they work with, but they may not be as specific as saying ‘attachment’. Perhaps look for the word ‘relationships’ in the profile, and then reach out to inquire more about the specifics.
I hope this helps.
– Nicole | Community Manager
very interesting article. I would keen to know how does attachment theory relate to primary caregivers who are in the military and have to deploy (unaccompanied) overseas for six to 24 month periods? Additionally, what is he impact on the child?
Hi Jamie,
These are great questions. Unfortunately, I’m not an expert on this topic! But I think you might find some useful information (and really rich qualitative accounts from members of military families) in this paper by Russotti and colleagues (2016), which looks at the process of reintegrating the deployed parent back into the family and how the child reconnects with that parent. The references in it might also point you in the right direction.
I hope this helps!
– Nicole | Community Manager
Psychological background of children’s behaviours is of great interest having studied Psychology as a graduate. Reading this reminded me of those days, very thought provoking!
Thank you. It never fails to amaze me how the brain works and now to learn more about attachment theory, how soon the process starts after birth.