Urge Surfing: How Riding the Wave Breaks Bad Habits

Urge SurfingWe all experience cravings, sometimes daily.

For some, it might be chocolate, caffeine, or social connection, while for others, it can be more serious, including gambling, out-of-control spending, alcohol abuse, or the use of illicit drugs (Harris et al., 2017; Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).

While often benign, cravings can result in unhealthy, potentially damaging behaviors that can lead clients to seek help from medical practitioners, counselors, and coaches.

Urge surfing offers a mindfulness-based approach to managing cravings, through developing an accepting, nonreactive outlook toward them, and has proven helpful in treating various addictions (Abouzed et al., 2020).

This article explores urge surfing and its potential to help clients ride the wave and break their bad habits.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free. These detailed, science-based exercises will help you increase the compassion and kindness you show yourself and give you the tools to help your clients, students, or employees show more compassion to themselves.

Urge Surfing: What Is It?

Urge surfing was developed by Marlatt and Gordon in 1985 to help individuals better cope with cravings and urges associated with addictive substances and behaviors.

“During the practice of urge surfing, individuals focus on, observe, and accept their experience of cravings.”

Harris et al., 2017, p. 144

Understanding the psychology behind urges

Much of our behavior can be attributed or related to bodily sensations that we experience as urges or desires for action. Yet urges are not always simple reflexes; they can be far more complex (Jackson et al., 2011).

An urge is typically a drive for action even if it does not enter our conscious awareness. For example, when walking to work, we may become aware of an urge to visit the bathroom, yet in a boring meeting, we can be surprised by a pressing need to yawn (Jackson et al., 2011).

The psychology behind urges involves an often complex combination of cognitive, emotional, and physiological processes that vary in intensity. Psychological factors might include (Singh et al., 2019; Bowen & Marlatt, 2009):

  • Conditioning
    When we repeatedly form a connection between a cue or stimulus and a rewarding experience (such as smoking a cigarette), the cue triggers an urge for that reward.
  • Reinforcement
    When experiencing pleasure from a particular behavior — perhaps eating a sugary doughnut — it strengthens the association between the behavior and the reward, leading to further (and possibly stronger) cravings or urges.
  • Emotional and cognitive factors
    Negative emotions, such as stress, anger, and loneliness, can trigger urges as we attempt to alleviate or escape from how we feel.

Over time, urges can become habits triggered in response to specific cues or situations, even if we are consciously unaware of the desire. They can be challenging to resist and may require help from counselors or coaches (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).

With appropriate support, clients gain “a strengthened understanding that the urge is a temporary phenomenon with a beginning, middle, and end that is a product of contingent factors that are constantly changing” (Singh et al., 2019, p. 176).

Such perspective change helps the individual see that a craving only needs to be managed for a short time; it will not be permanent.

So, what is urge surfing?

Urge surfing is a mindfulness-based technique that often forms part of a larger relapse prevention treatment for substance abuse. It also offers a valuable approach for helping individuals manage less severe but unwanted cravings (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).

The individual is encouraged to “picture urges as waves” and imagine riding them “as they naturally ebbed and flowed, rather than fighting the urge or giving in to it” (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009, p. 668).

It involves recognizing the urge, along with associated physical sensations and thoughts, without judgment. The goal is to be less reactive and more accepting of our cravings. We allow them to pass without acting on or responding to them.

Urge surfing has helped treat a range of cases and conditions, including supporting smoking cessation in college students, reducing anxiety, managing atopic eczema, and treating alcohol and drug addiction (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009; Harris et al., 2017; Singh et al., 2019).

A simple way to break a bad habit - Judson Brewer

In his video “A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit,” Judson Brewer explores the relationship between mindfulness and addiction and how we can manage our urges.

The Role of Mindfulness & Self-Awareness

Mindfulness and self-awareness have a vital role to play in managing urges. While they may not initially reduce them, such techniques can potentially change our response to them (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009). For example, we may still wish to pick up our mobile phones again to check social media, yet we can resist the temptation.

Urge surfing is introduced as a mindfulness and self-awareness skill that promotes attending to cravings and urges without needing to avoid them. The client uses such techniques to observe and accept the experience of cravings (Harris et al., 2017).

Research confirms its importance as a treatment, recognizing that “mindfulness-based treatments may be particularly useful for individuals who use substances to alleviate emotional, physical, or cognitive discomfort” (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009, p. 666).

Therapists and counselors working with clients to bring their urges under control encourage self-awareness, nonreactivity, and acceptance to support alternate responses and weaken (often automatic and unconscious) links between emotions, cues, thoughts, and addictive behavior (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).

Abouzed et al., (2020) reported the use of mindfulness in patients experiencing chronic skin conditions, such as atopic dermatitis. Through learning mindfulness practices, such as becoming more aware, grounded, and compassionate toward themselves, participants could better observe the urge to scratch without acting on it. They learned to observe the compulsion as though it were a wave, letting it pass by.

Our article on mindfulness practices provides a treasure trove of exercises and activities (21 in total) for adults that can be helpful during urge surfing.

Download 3 Free Self-Compassion Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you to help others create a kinder and more nurturing relationship with themselves.

What Are the Benefits?

Urge surfing, performed in line with techniques to improve self-awareness and mindfulness, is a valuable technique for treating clients with unwanted or unhelpful bad habits, cravings, and urges.

Benefits include (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009; Harris et al., 2017; Singh et al., 2019):

  1. Increasing self-awareness
    Developing a more profound understanding of their thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations helps them identify triggers and respond more thoughtfully.
  2. Nonreactivity and acceptance
    Clients can observe cravings without immediate reaction through fostering a mindset of acceptance and reducing impulse-driven behaviors.
  3. Breaking automatic response patterns
    Helping clients notice the natural rise and fall of cravings decreases habitual engagement in addictive behaviors.
  4. Enhanced emotional regulation
    Learning to manage uncomfortable emotions associated with cravings decreases reliance on addictive behaviors as coping mechanisms.
  5. Increased self-control
    Controlling impulses by allowing space for choosing how to respond to urges ultimately leads to healthier decision-making.
  6. Long-term behavior change
    Ongoing practice leads to durable changes and more enduring management of cravings in healthier ways.
  7. Reduced impulsivity
    Cultivating a non-attached perspective toward cravings helps clients resist immediate gratification.
  8. Enhanced coping skills
    Gaining alternative coping mechanisms like deep breathing or meditation helps handle discomfort without succumbing to harmful behaviors.
  9. Increased self-control and conscious decision-making
    Developing greater self-control supports goal- and value-driven decisions.
  10. Comprehensive treatment approach
    These techniques can be integrated into a broader treatment strategy incorporating other evidence-based practices and support systems.

The benefits of urge surfing can be maximized through regular practice and the support of appropriately skilled professionals.

A Word of Caution About Urge Surfing

Observe anxiety mindfullyWhile research suggests that urge surfing is a powerful approach that can be effective in various situations, as with all therapeutic and coaching interventions, there are limitations and points to consider (Abouzed et al., 2020).

Urge surfing may be better seen as part of a comprehensive treatment plan rather than a standalone solution. It also requires practice and consistency to maximize its effectiveness, most likely including support from a trained and experienced professional.

The individual must be prepared to embrace self-awareness and mindfulness skills and techniques and recognize that it does not guarantee that the chance of relapse is entirely eliminated (Abouzed et al., 2020; Harris et al., 2017).

How to Practice Urge Surfing in 8 Steps

Urge surfing must be individual to the client and specific to their needs. However, the following eight steps offer a general approach that can be tailored as required.

The client is asked to perform the following (modified from Singh & Joy, 2021):

  1. Be mindful of urges as they arise.
    Become aware of urges as they arise.
  2. Focus on bodily sensations.
    When an urge is detected, concentrate on the areas in your body where it manifests, such as a dry mouth, salivation, abdominal sensations, chest tightness, or heaviness. Take note of the intensity.
  3. Observe with nonjudgmental awareness.
    Remain present for the urge. Observe without judgment or attachment and remember that it is transient.
  4. Focus on each breath.
    Bring attention to your breath without altering its flow, speed, or length.
  5. Ride the urge.
    Think of your breath as a surfboard to ride the urge as it flows through you, rising, gaining strength, and peaking in intensity, before dissolving again. Surf the urge for a minute or two.
  6. Observe transformation.
    Shift attention back to the areas in your body where the urge was initially present and observe the changes. How are the feelings and sensations associated with the urge reducing?
  7. Return to the breath.
    Continue observing the urge until it fully dissolves while focusing on your breath.
  8. Show gratitude.
    Appreciate yourself for being present for the urge without giving in to it. Note that you responded to your intentions and did not react by reverting to old habits.

5 Tips to Increase Chances of Success

Breathing techniquesUse the following five tips to increase the likelihood of success in urge surfing for your client (Singh & Joy, 2021):

  1. Learn the process and try it out so you are ready the next time an urge arises.
  2. Be consistent.
  3. Apply urge surfing when needed, but recognize that it will sometimes fail.
  4. Be kind and forgive yourself.
  5. Set time aside to practice. Find somewhere quiet, close your eyes, and recall the scene where you last wished you applied urge surfing.

Seek out the support of experts or groups practiced in managing and avoiding unwanted behaviors.

2 Similar Self-Regulation Techniques

While urge surfing is popular and effective, other techniques have a similar effect as “riding the wave.”

SOBER breathing space

The SOBER technique can help eliminate automatic reactions such as anger (modified from Singh & Joy, 2021).

  • Stop what you are doing.
  • Observe sensations in the body and mind.
  • Breathe and attend to your breath.
  • Expand and examine the potential consequences of your behavior.
  • Respond and mindfully remember that you have a choice.

4-7-8 breathing

Breathing techniques are powerful tools for regaining control. A technique known as 4-7-8 breathing engages with the parasympathetic nervous system to restore a sense of calm and control (Nestor, 2020):

  • With eyes closed, take several slow, deep breaths.
  • Inhale through the nose slowly to a count of four.
  • Hold your breath for a count of seven.
  • Exhale slowly through pursed lips for a count of eight.
  • Repeat up to four times.

2 urge surfing worksheets

The following two worksheets offer variations on the urge theme. The first, based on the eight steps above, is more suitable for adults, while the second is more appropriate for children.

17 Exercises To Foster Self-Acceptance and Compassion

Help your clients develop a kinder, more accepting relationship with themselves using these 17 Self-Compassion Exercises [PDF] that promote self-care and self-compassion.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

Helpful Resources From PositivePsychology.com

We have many resources available for therapists and mental health professionals to help clients let go of unhealthy habits.

Our free resources include:

  • Behavior Contract
    Promote healthy behaviors while minimizing negative ones. Use this exercise to create a concrete agreement with friends and family, identifying how they can help the client improve their wellbeing.
  • Creating Good Habits
    Learn how to turn good behaviors into habits. The aim is to understand the following: “When X happens, I will respond by performing Y and receiving Z.”
  • Undoing Bad Habits
    Identify how to break bad habits by making them invisible, unattractive, difficult, and unsatisfying. What habit would you like to break? How could you make them less visible? How could you make them more difficult?

More extensive versions of the following tools are available with a subscription to the Positive Psychology Toolkit©, but they are described briefly below.

  • Urge surfing
    Practicing urge surfing helps you become more familiar with your urges and better able to ride them out until they diminish naturally.

This exercise offers a detailed breakdown of the steps when working with clients, summarized as follows:

    • Step one – Guide the client through a mindfulness session that examines typical sensations associated with urges with curiosity and without judgment.
    • Step two – Reflect on the experience of the sensations.
    • Step three – Practice urge surfing. When urges arise, ask the client to focus on where they experience the sensations.
    • Step four – Reflect on how the urge develops until it subsides.
  • Acting opposite to urges

Teaching clients the skill of acting contrary to their urges helps them regulate maladaptive habitual reactions and initiate a more adaptive reaction.

Try out the following steps:

    • Step one – List emotions you find challenging to handle and write down your usual response to them.
    • Step two – Next to each one, list an opposing response.
    • Step three – Reflect on both responses. Which one is more helpful? Will choosing the opposite action yield positive results? Remember, different actions bring different outcomes.
    • Step four – What insights have you gained? Going forward, in which areas and situations of your life could you choose the opposite of your usual response? And what do you think might happen?

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others develop self-compassion, check out this collection of 17 validated self-compassion tools for practitioners. Use them to help others create a kinder and more nurturing relationship with the self.

A Take-Home Message

While urge surfing began with the aim of supporting individuals with addictions and substance abuse problems with their unhealthy urges, it has since become a staple for treating anyone with unwanted cravings (Harris et al., 2017; Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).

Although urges are often reactive, they are more than simple reflexes. While they may become conscious, such as a strong desire to eat the last piece of chocolate, they can also surface unexpectedly. Think of the angry driver reacting to another’s poor driving (Jackson et al., 2011).

Each urge is a combination of triggers and factors involving emotional, physical, and cognitive processes, potentially driven by conditioning, reinforcement, and our need to escape how we feel.

Many who experience ongoing unwanted, unhelpful, and even dangerous urges will seek the support of trained mental health professionals. A counselor or coach may adopt urge surfing along with other techniques to support clients in regaining control over their desires.

Clients are encouraged to mindfully identify the urge while recognizing that it is temporary and that they only need to manage it briefly. With practice, the individual learns to adopt a compassionate, nonjudgmental view of themselves, seeing the urge as a wave that can be ridden as it ebbs and flows without acting on it or responding to it.

Urge surfing is a powerful tool for any health professional and can help clients with many unwanted desires, urges, cravings, and compulsions that are limiting or controlling their lives.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Self Compassion Exercises for free.

Frequently Asked Questions

Cravings and urges are similar in that they both involve a strong desire for something that may lead to unwanted behaviors. ​While the terms are often used interchangeably, cravings are typically associated with specific substances and are ongoing, while urges can be more general, short-term, and related to bodily sensations or desires for action (Jackson et al., 2011).

The duration of urge surfing varies depending on the individual and the nature of the urge and most often lasts only seconds or minutes. ​The goal of urge surfing is to observe and ride the wave of the urge until it naturally subsides (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009).

Research suggests that urge surfing is an effective technique for managing cravings and urges associated with addictive substances and behaviors. It has been used successfully in treating various addictions, such as smoking cessation, alcohol and drug addiction, and managing health conditions, including atopic eczema (Bowen & Marlatt, 2009; Harris et al., 2017; Singh et al., 2019).

While urge surfing is primarily used for managing cravings and urges related to addictive behaviors, it may also be helpful for individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). ​However, it is essential to note that urge surfing is not usually considered a standalone treatment for OCD but may form part of a comprehensive treatment plan that includes evidence-based therapies (Nichols, 2015; Abouzed et al., 2020).

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