What happens when we continue “burning the candle at both ends” until we reach physical and emotional exhaustion?
Just like the candle itself, we risk burning ourselves out.
There is a parable of a frog sitting in a pot on the stove. If dropped into a pot of boiling water, a frog would likely notice and try to escape.
But when placed in a pot that is slowly approaching a boil, the frog doesn’t notice until the water has already reached an unbearable heat—at which point it is too hot for the frog to survive.
Have you ever experienced a slow acceptance of the pressures around you, until everything is “just too much” and you can barely cope?
If so, you’re not alone. About 8.3 million American adults were reported to have experienced serious psychological distress in 2017 (“More Americans suffering from stress, anxiety, and depression, study finds,” 2018).
So what if we could notice the boiling signs earlier and even “turn down” the heat?
If stress “has become one of the most serious health issues of the 20th century and a worldwide epidemic,” then it is time to start growing our tools in handling stress
(“Workplace Stress,” 2018).
Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our 3 Resilience Exercises for free. These engaging, science-based exercises will help you to effectively deal with stress and give you the tools to improve the resilience of your clients, students or employees.
You can download the free PDF here.
This Article Contains:
- What is Stress Management? A definition
- 14 Facts About Stress & Burnout
- 7 Tips for Stress Management
- 13 Different Stress Management Techniques & Strategies
- Stress Management In The Workplace
- 3 Handy PDFs & 1 PPT About Stress Management
- 12 Stress Relief Activities & Exercises
- A Take-Home Message
What is Stress Management? A Definition
Put simply, stress management is:
“set of techniques and programs intended to help people deal more effectively with stress in their lives by analysing the specific stressors and taking positive actions to minimize their effects”
(Gale Encyclopaedia of Medicine, 2008).
Popular examples of stress management include meditation, yoga, and exercise. We’ll explore these in detail, with a range of different approaches to ensure that there’s something that works for everyone.
First, let’s set one thing straight: we’re not aiming towards being stress-free all of the time. That’s unrealistic. After all, it’s an unavoidable human response that we all experience from time to time—and it’s not all bad either.
However, we can all benefit from identifying our stress and managing it better. Before we dive any deeper into managing stress, let’s cover a quick 101 on stress itself.
What is stress?
Stress is the “psychological, physiological and behavioural response by an individual when they perceive a lack of equilibrium between the demands placed upon them and their ability to meet those demands, which, over a period of time, leads to ill-health”
Symptoms of stress
Although we all experience stress differently, some common symptoms include:
- Difficulty sleeping;
- Weight gain or weight loss;
- Stomach pain;
- Teeth grinding;
- Panic attacks;
- Difficulty concentrating;
- Sweaty hands or feet;
- Excessive sleeping;
- Social isolation;
- Feeling overwhelmed;
- and obsessive or compulsive behaviors.
More examples of stress symptoms can be found here at The American Institute of Stress website.
Why is stress helpful?
Historically, stress was our friend. It acted as a protective mechanism that warned us of danger; a natural reaction that told us when to run. This response is now referred to as the “fight or flight” response, or the “stress response.” When your evolutionary ancestors saw a saber-toothed cat and ran from it, stress saved their life.
Stress has remained part of the evolutionary drive because of its usefulness in survival. When used at the right time, stress increases our awareness and improves physical performance in short bursts (Van Duyne, 2003).
Why is stress harmful?
Repetitive exposure of the stress response on our body is proven to lead to long-lasting psychological and physical health issues; these include cardiovascular disease, diabetes, anxiety and depression (“How Does Stress Affect Us?”, 2016).
Stress versus burnout
What’s the difference between stress and burnout? Stress is inevitable. Burnout isn’t.
While stress is our response, burnout is the accumulation of excessive stressors over time, which results in unmanageable stress levels.
American psychologist Herbert Freudenberger first termed the word “burnout” in the 1970s, referring to the effect of extreme stress and high ideals placed on “helping” professionals, such as doctors and nurses (“Depression: What is burnout?”, 2018).
Today, the word has evolved. It is now used more broadly to refer to the consequences of “excessive stress” placed on any individual, no matter their occupation. When we get to the point of no longer being able to cope, we are “burned out,” like a candle.
This is where stress management can offer tools, and help people avoid the unpleasant experience of burnout.
14 Facts About Stress & Burnout
If you’re not yet convinced about the need to prioritize stress management, these 14 facts might help:
- Stress has been referred to as the “silent killer” as it can cause heart disease, high blood pressure, chest pain, and an irregular heartbeat (Chilnick, 2008).
- Telogen effluvium is the result of hair loss caused by stress that can happen up to three months after a stressful event (McEwen, 2003).
- Stress accounts for 30% of all infertility problems. In women, stress can cause spasms in the fallopian tubes and uterus. In men, it can reduce sperm count and cause erectile dysfunction (Bouchez, 2018).
- Researchers have found that stress worsens acne, more so than the prevalence of oily skin (Warner, 2002).
- Stress can cause weight gain too. The stress hormone cortisol has been found to cause both the accumulation of abdominal fat and the enlargement of fat cells, causing “diseased” fat (Chilnick, 2008).
- Correlations have been found between stress and the top six causes of death: cancer, lung ailments, heart disease, liver cirrhosis, accidents, and suicide (“How Does Stress Affect Us?”, 2016).
- In children, chronic stress has been found to negatively impact their developmental growth due to a reduction of the growth hormone in the pituitary gland (Van der Kolk, B. et. al., 2007).
- The word itself, “stress” stems from the Latin word stringere, meaning “to draw tight” (McEwen, 2003).
- In the event of chronic stress, dominant hormones are released into our brain. These hormones are intended for short-term emergencies and in the event where they exist for extended periods they can shrink, impair and kill brain cells (Wallenstein, 2003).
- Stress can increase the likelihood of developing blood clots since the blood prepares itself for injuries and becomes “stickier” (Chilnick, 2008).
- Chronic stress can place pressure on, and cause damage to arteries and organs. This occurs due to inflation in our bodies caused by cytokines (a result of stress) (McEwen, 2003).
- Stress is also responsible for altering our blood sugar levels, which can lead to fatigue, hyperglycemia, mood swings, and metabolic syndrome (“How Does Stress Affect Us?”, 2016).
- On a positive note, we can reduce our stress levels by laughing. Having a chuckle, lowers the stress hormones, including cortisol, epinephrine, and adrenaline. Laughing also strengthens our immune system by releasing positive hormones (Wallenstein, 2003).
- More good news, especially for chocolate lovers—dark chocolate has been found to reduce stress hormones (Wallenstein, 2003).
7 Tips for Stress Management
Before discussing stress management techniques, there are several factors to consider.
The following 7 tips are adapted from The American Psychological Association (“Check Out the Stress Tip Sheet,” 2018) to support individuals with a stress management plan:
1. Understand your stress
How do you stress? It can be different for everybody. By understanding what stress looks like for you, you can be better prepared, and reach for your stress management toolbox when needed.
2. Identify your stress sources
What causes you to be stressed? Be it work, family, change or any of the other potential thousand triggers.
3. Learn to recognize stress signals
We all process stress differently so it’s important to be aware of your individual stress symptoms. What are your internal alarm bells? Low tolerance, headaches, stomach pains or a combination from the above‘Symptoms of stress’
4. Recognize your stress strategies
What is your go-to tactic for calming down? These can be behaviors learned over years and sometimes aren’t the healthy option. For example, some people cope with stress by self-medicating with alcohol or overeating.
5. Implement healthy stress management strategies
It’s good to be mindful of any current unhealthy coping behaviors so you can switch them out for a healthy option. For example, if overeating is your current go to, you could practice meditation instead, or make a decision to phone a friend to chat through your situation. The American Psychological Association suggest that switching out one behavior at a time is most effective in creating positive change.
6. Make self-care a priority
When we make time for ourselves, we put our well-being before others. This can feel selfish to start, but it is like the airplane analogy—we must put our own oxygen mask on before we can assist others. The simplest things that promote well-being, such as enough sleep, food, downtime, and exercise are often the ones overlooked.
Self-care is group-care.
7. Ask for support when needed
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out to a friend or family member you can talk to. Speaking with a healthcare professional can also reduce stress, and help us learn healthier coping strategies.
For more tips about stress management check out these renowned books.
13 Different Stress Management Techniques & Strategies
These tips are thing we can all benefit from doing more of. The techniques are categorized into three groups:
- Action Orientated Approaches: used to take action to change a stressful situation
- Emotion-oriented approaches: used to change the way we perceive a stressful situation
- Acceptance-oriented approaches: used for dealing with stressful situations you can’t control
Explore the below options and find what combination works best for keeping your stress levels under control.
Action-oriented approaches allow you to take action and change the stressful situation.
As Nelson & Hurrell said:
“Stress is inevitable, distress is not”
1. Be assertive
Clear and effective communication is the key to being assertive. When we’re assertive, we can ask for what we want or need, and also explain what is bothering us. The key is doing this in a fair and firm manner while still having empathy for others. Once you identify what you need to communicate, you can stand up for yourself and be proactive in altering the stressful situation.
You can read more about how to be assertive here.
2. Reduce the noise
Switching off all the technology, screen time, and constant stimuli can help us slow down. How often do you go offline? It is worth changing, for your own sake.
Make time for some quietness each day. You may notice how all those seemingly urgent things we need to do become less important and crisis-like. That to-do list will be there when you’re in a place to return to it. Remember that recharging is a very effective way of tackling stress.
3. Manage your time
If we let them, our days will consume us. Before we know it, the months have become overwhelmingly busy. When we prioritize and organize our tasks, we create a less stressful and more enjoyable life.
You can learn more with these tips about time management here.
4. Creating boundaries
Boundaries are the internal set of rules that we establish for ourselves. They outline what behaviors we will and won’t accept, how much time and space we need from others, and what priorities we have.
Healthy boundaries are essential for a stress-free life. When we have healthy boundaries we respect ourselves and take care of our well-being by clearly expressing our boundaries to others.
Watch this video to help establish healthy boundaries:
One of the tips in the video can help you prioritize your wants. For example, let’s say you are invited to a social event this weekend, but you have not had any time for yourself. The idea of reading a book and eating Chinese take-out sounds like your dream, but you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings if you don’t attend.
It could be helpful to consider what you would do, if no one cared either way. If no one cares, maybe you decide to have a low-key evening by yourself. If someone really cares, and that relationship matters to you, you’d probably benefit more from making an appearance at the event.
5. Get out of your head
Sometimes it’s best not to even try contending with the racing thoughts. Sometimes you just need a break. Distract yourself. Watch a movie, phone or catch up with a friend, go for a walk, or do something positive that you know takes your mind off things.
Emotion-oriented approaches are used to change the way we perceive stressful situations.
In the words of William James:
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another”
6. Affirmations and imagery
The power of positive imagery and affirmations is now scientifically proven to increase positive emotion.
How? When you think of a positive experience, your brain perceives it to be a reality.
So, replace those negative thoughts with positive statements and challenge and change the way you see and experience the world.
7. Cognitive Restructuring
In the mid-1950’s psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis developed what cognitive restructuring, a technique for understanding negative emotions and challenging the sometimes incorrect beliefs that cause them. Cognitive restructuring is a key component of Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). More about CBT here.
8. ABC Technique
The ABC technique was also originally created by psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis and was later adapted by Martin Seligman.
The letters ABC stand for; A – adversity, or the stressful event. B – beliefs, or the way that you respond to the event. Then C – consequences, the result of your beliefs lead to the actions and outcome of that event.
Essentially, the more optimistic your beliefs, the more positive the outcome.
More information about this technique and how you can implement it here:
What are the consequences of your current belief systems? It is worth investing in.
Acceptance-oriented approaches are useful in stressful situations that you cannot control.
Epictetus, the Greek philosopher had it right when he said:
“Men are disturbed not by things but by the views they take of them”
9. Diet and Exercise
You’ve heard it before, but you are what you eat. Be mindful of having a balanced and healthy diet. Making simple diet changes, such as reducing your alcohol, caffeine and sugar intake is a proven way of reducing anxiety.
Another guaranteed way to reduce stress is exercise. It’s proven to also be as effective as antidepressants in relieving mild depression.
So… get moving! (We know it’s easier said than done).
10. Meditation and physical relaxation
Use techniques such as deep breathing, guided visualizations, yoga, and guided body scans. These activities help relax the body. Some examples for you to try out are included below.
11. Build resilience
Resiliency is our ability to bounce back from stressful or negative experiences.
To simplify, resilient people are skilled at accepting that the situation has occurred, they learn from what transpired and then they move on.
More about resiliency, along with some worksheets and activities can be found here.
12. Talk it out
Don’t hold it all inside. Talk to someone close to you about your worries or the things getting you down. Sharing worries can cut them in half, and also give you a chance to laugh at potentially absurd situations.
Many of our worries sound a lot less worrisome when we say them out loud.
If you don’t feel up to sharing, writing them down is also a great way to release them. Or maybe engage with an independent professional. There are plenty of services available, including free services, which you can quickly google to find what’s available in your city.
Getting a good night sleep is fundamental for recharging and dealing with stressful situations in the best possible way. While it varies from individual to individual, on the exact amount of sleep needed, an uninterrupted sleep of approximately 8 hours is generally recommended.
Ensure that you get enough Zzzz’s.
Stress Management In The Workplace
Whether it be extended hours, near impossible deadlines, demanding colleagues or unappreciative bosses, workplace stress is something many people are familiar with.
According to the World Health Organization’s definition, occupational or work-related psychosocial stress “is the response people may have when presented with work demands and pressures that are not matched to their knowledge and abilities and which challenge their ability to cope.” (Leka, Griffiths, & Cox, 2003)
But the effects of workplace stress aren’t simply isolated to the workplace; they spill over into our personal relationships, our home lives, and our overall productivity.
Duke University found that workplace stress was responsible for over 70% of workplace accidents, 50% of absenteeism, and over $300 billion in associated costs (“Stress Facts in the Workplace,” 2018).
These figures require action.
Causes of workplace stress
The most and least stressful job report for 2018, conducted by CareerCast revealed that the top most stressful jobs of the year were Enlisted Military Personnel, Firefighters, Airline Pilots, and Police Officers. The least stressful jobs were Diagnostic Medical Sonographer, hair stylist, audiologist, and University professor (“CareerCast Rates Least and Most Stressful Jobs for 2018,” 2018).
While some jobs are undoubtedly more stressful than others, all workplaces are prone to stress of some degree.
The below diagram, obtained from the WSH Institute (2018) displays the various factors that can lead to workplace stress, along with the organization and individuals role in dealing with these hazards.
Symptoms of workplace stress
Symptoms of workplace stress can manifest physically (headaches, stomach aches, pains, fatigue or eating, and sleeping disturbances), cognitively (trouble with concentrating, decision making, thinking or remembering), and emotionally (feeling down, tense and irritated).
Prevention of workplace stress
The prevention of workplace stress is most successful when a combination of both organizational change and individual stress management is used. That is, like any healthy relationship, both parties – the employee and the employer make an effort.
What can the company do to manage stress?
- Promote leave, rest and breaks;
- Encourage exercise and meditation, both within and outside of work hours;
- Ensure the workload is in line with workers’ abilities and resources;
- Provide stimulation and opportunities for workers to use skills;
- Boost workplace morale by creating opportunities for social interactions;
- Clearly set out workers’ roles and responsibilities;
- Encourage participation in decision making that affects individuals roles;
- Encourage open communication;
- Establish no tolerance policy for workplace discrimination;
- Engage an external consultant to suggest a fresh approach to any existing issues;
- Create family-friendly policies to encourage work-life balance;
- and provide training for workplace stress management.
The figure below summarizes the benefits of workplaces that promote healthy and low-stress environments.
What if you do not have a healthy workplace, and that isn’t likely to change any time soon? Luckily, there are ways for individuals to manage their own stress.
Personal strategies for stress management are to:
- Set realistic deadlines;
- Take a lunch break;
- Go home on time;
- Take your holiday leave;
- Leave work at work;
- Participate in work functions;
- Establish open and professional communication;
- Respect other employees;
- Do not tolerate discrimination of any sort, report any instances;
- Sign up for workplace training programs to develop and improve your skills;
- If required, seek therapy to manage and develop skills to cope with workplace stressors;
- and develop a healthy work-life balance, creating time for exercise.
Stress management advantages
The below table, from the WHO (2018) illustrates the advantages of workplace stress management:
Today, companies are recognizing the link between productivity and health, and a conscious workplace. Some companies are going to great lengths to achieve this.
A survey conducted by CareerBliss, found that the happiest employees in America worked for the Austin, Texas company, Keller Williams Realty. The outcome was based on 10 key factors, including their relationship with management, workplace environment, compensation, satisfaction with job function and growth opportunities (“Forbes Welcome,” 2018).
A staff member from the winning company explained, “One of the greatest benefits is how our company promotes from within. All employees are encouraged and supported to be in control of their growth and career paths.”
Nike took away the second spot in the country. For those who are interested, you can find the full list here.
3 Handy PDFs & 1 PPT About Stress Management
Now that we’ve covered the various stress management solutions, here are some handy downloadable PDFs for creating your personal stress management plan:
For adults and teens, this PDF Stress diary is an excellent template put together by Mindtools.com. It helps make us aware of when we stress, how we stress and how often we stress. Download the diary and make regular entries to start increasing the awareness surrounding your stress.
It’s easy for stress to come and go, with us accepting it’s just part of our lives instead of something that needs addressing. Once we bring our awareness to these key stress components, we can start taking steps to manage it.
Once you’ve identified how you show stress, you can start fleshing out a plan that works best for you. This Stress management PDF will help you to put in place some solid solutions, such as social support, emotional skills, ideas for a healthy life balance, and how you can best attend to your basic needs.
Specifically for teens, this PDF is an easy to use 10-point plan put together by www.fosteringresilience.com to help manage stress. It has been broken down into four digestible parts for you to work through including:
- Tackling the problem
- Taking care of my body
- Dealing with emotions and
- Making the world better.
If you’re looking for a handy PPT, this Reducing Stress Presentation (put together by The Wellness Council of America) explains how we can best manage our stress by changing our health behaviors.
The slides give an easy to understand overview which discusses, why managing stress is important, the consequences of not managing stress, the benefits of reducing stress, the barriers preventing people from reducing their stress and strategies for managing stress.
Whew, that’s a lot! Since stress is a natural part of life, these tools and presentations offer ways to change what we do when stress pops into our lives.
12 Stress Relief Activities & Exercises
1. Test your knowledge
You can test your stress knowledge using this simple quiz developed by APA.
2. Stress Management – anywhere, anytime
How? Firstly, you can start by simply being aware of your thoughts.
Try to observe your thoughts as an outsider. Take note of what’s going on, but without judging or attaching to the details. Then just let them go. They’ll come back again that’s for sure—but continue to do the same “thought watching” and they’ll slowly lessen. This is otherwise known as being “mindful.”
More information on being mindful can be found here.
Another great tool that you have on hand at all times is the ability to tap into your senses – an old meditative trick that you can use, anywhere anytime. By tuning into your senses; See, smell, touch, taste and hear, this will automatically slow down the brain.
Spend at least one minute on each:
- What can you see? Look close and far, colors, shapes, and light.
- What can you hear? Hear as many sounds as you can and keep looking for new ones, don’t focus on anyone for too long.
- What can you taste? This is less fun when you’re not eating – but try to last the minute.
- What can you smell? Focus on the smells around you – what are they and how many can you find?
- What can you feel? Send your attention to the parts of your body that have contact with something, like the earth or a chair or table.
Another stress management tool that you can do anywhere, anytime – is a self-massage. The below clip shows you how.
4. Relaxing music
Or if you’re looking for some background sound, put on this relaxation music and experience the calming effects.
5. Schedule time to de-stress
Set aside time each day (as much as you can spare) to intentionally wind down.
For example, the Body Scan relaxation technique works by slowing down your thoughts and bringing your awareness back to your body. This audio track put together by Mindful.Org is a great example for beginners.
6. Deep breathing
When you’re strapped for time, this 5-minute deep breathing audio meditation is great for fast and effective stress relief:
When you have a little more time, this 28-minute guided visualization exercise takes you through forest imagery to calm the nervous system:
8. Game time
For those who enjoy playing games, you can have some fun while de-stressing with these Stress Relief games by StressreliefPig.com.
Yoga is now a well-accepted and practiced stress management technique across the globe. If you’re yet to give it a go, you can find a studio near you using this global Yoga Finder or learn more about it here.
10. Do it in groups
For some people, group activities are the preference. You can give them a try using these ideas.
11. Media platforms
Learn more about wellbeing and stress on the plethora of available media platforms.
The more you learn the more prepared you’ll be. Here Dr. Elaine Ducharme gives quick tips on managing your stress.
12. TED Talks
Lastly, if you haven’t yet, check out this popular and insightful TED Talk: How to make stress your friend by Kelly McGonigal:
As McGonigal says, imagine the power of re-thinking the way we think stress. If people reduced their stress about “being stressed,” then entire lives could transform for the healthier. What would happen if instead, we recognized stress as an important chemical messaging mechanism that aided in our survival?
Even just telling others how we feel when we are stressed can help us receive crucial support, and in that way, stress serves an important function.
A Take-Home Message
In the past year alone, 31% of American’s reported that their stress levels increased significantly (The American Psychological Association, 2018).
The warning signs are out there—not only the statistics listed here, but also in those internal alarm bells—the headaches, stomach knots, and racing thoughts. They’re all signalling us to take action. The good news is we can. The resources are here. All we need to do is listen and respond using a realistic stress management plan adapted from the extensive list above.
Hans Selye put it right when he said:
“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.”
How will you manage your stress?
Try out the different tips and techniques listed here and see what works best for you. If you have your own techniques that aren’t listed here, please include them in the comments below.
It’d be great to hear the tools you use so we can share them with all of our readers.
Thanks for reading!
We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our 3 Resilience Exercises for free.
If you wish to learn more, our Realizing Resilience Masterclass© is a complete, science-based, 6-module resilience training template for practitioners that contains all the materials you’ll need to help your clients overcome adversity in a more resilient way.
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- Palmer, S. (1989). Occupational Stress. The Health and Safety Practitioner, 7, (8), 16-18.
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- Warner, J. (2002) “Stress Makes Teen Acne Worse.” WebMD. Retrieved from
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