The person showing little emotional distress in difficulty is not necessarily displaying resilience. The person who fails and feels intense negative emotions, yet tries again the next day, is displaying resilience.
Put simply, resilience is the ability to adapt and we can all demonstrate resilience. Granted, some people may be more resilient than others, but it is not an immutable trait or characteristic that you either do or don’t have. Resilience is a learned ability and one that you can build.
Resilience is not the absence of distress or difficulty. Resilience is the ability to adapt and grow following adversity.
Some of these resilience activities and exercises may help you develop your resilience, while others might make you realize how resilient you already are.
Either way, the outcome is more confidence in your ability to bounce back.
Read on if you’re ready to learn more about how to boost your resilience and meet challenges with confidence in yourself and your ability to succeed, even after failure.
4 Resilience Activities for Adults
We’ll provide several resources for building resilience, but first, let’s take a look at what the American Psychological Association has to say about building resilience.
According to the APA (American Psychological Association, 2009), there are 10 ways to build resilience, many of which will be applied in the training, exercises, and activities listed later:
- Making connections and building your social support network;
- Avoiding the tendency to view crises as insurmountable challenges;
- Accepting that change is a natural and unavoidable part of life;
- Moving towards your (realistic) goals;
- Taking decisive actions that will help you face your challenges;
- Looking for opportunities for self-discovery;
- Nurturing a positive view of yourself and your abilities;
- Keeping things in perspective and in context;
- Maintaining a hopeful outlook on life;
- And taking care of yourself.
These ten basic principles of improving resilience can be applied on your own, in a guided therapeutic relationship, or in training and courses on resilience.
PositivePsychology.com Realizing Resilience Coaching Masterclass
If you’re a helping professional seeking a comprehensive resource to help your clients build resilience, take a look at our Realizing Resilience Coaching Masterclass.
In this course, you’ll gain science-backed tools to show your clients how to navigate life’s ups and downs with poise and resilience, enabling them to improve their overall wellbeing.
The course comprises six modules.
1. Positive Psychology 2.0
You’ll begin by delving into the darker side of the human experience, often triggered by adverse events. In doing this, you’ll gain the skills to teach and apply positive psychology principles in a holistic and balanced way.
2. Resiliences
Next, you will discover the characteristics that make up a resilient person and the four key elements of resilience. The modules that follow explore these four elements in more detail.
3. Attention
In Module 3, you will learn about the first element of resilience–attention. In this module, you’ll develop an understanding of how resilient people direct their attention to positive and negative life events.
4. Thoughts
The second element of resilience you’ll learn about regards thoughts. In this module, you’ll gain a range of practical tools and exercises to help your clients direct their thoughts in constructive ways based on the best scientific practice and theory.
5. Action
Resilient people are quick to adopt adaptive coping strategies in the face of negative events. Module 5 will teach you to arm your clients with these strategies.
6. Motivation
What drives resilient people to persist and engage in positive coping in the face of adversity? This final module will answer this question and teach you about the last key element of resilience–motivation.
The Realizing Resilience Coaching Masterclass© includes a range of useful materials, including live recordings, a workbook for your clients, PowerPoint presentations, and extended usage rights to save you time developing your own materials.
Adult Resilience Program
This program is intended for teenagers and adults over the age of 16. It is offered online and is especially helpful for older students dealing with stress or pressure from school, family, and upcoming transitions.
This program will help participants:
- Identify their feelings and develop empathy;
- Control and regulate difficult or intense emotions;
- Learn relaxation techniques;
- Practice mindfulness;
- Prevent bullying, for both bullies and victims;
- Resist peer pressure and develop positive relationships;
- Compromise in difficult situations and avoid conflict;
- Choose appropriate role models;
- Set realistic and achievable goals;
- Learn organizational and focus skills;
- And develop non-internet-based friendships and relationships.
This course is delivered through five sessions of 2 to 2.5 hours and guided by a facilitator. Click here to learn more about this training endorsed by the World Health Organization.
Samaritans Resilience Training
The Samaritan’s organization trains for adults in their “Building Resilience and Wellbeing” course.
This course helps participants:
- Explore the connection between emotional health and resilience, and understand how resilience can positively impact our lives;
- Assess their own resilience skills;
- Recognize the indicators of stress and identify sources of support;
- Learn the Keys of Resilience;
- Identify practical steps they can take to build resilience;
- And build a personalized action plan.
The course generally takes place over one day and can be delivered at locations throughout the UK.
Click here to learn more about this course.
Reaching In Reaching Out (RIRO)
If you’re a parent, coach, therapist, or mental health professional seeking a more structured approach to helping clients or children build resilience, the Reaching In Reaching Out Resiliency Skills Training program can help.
It consists of 12 hours of training divided into two parts:
Part 1 helps adults build their own foundation in resilience and learn resiliency skills they can model and encourage in their children. These skills include:
- Identifying and strengthening resilience abilities.
- Using strategies to stay calm and focused when experiencing stress.
- Recognizing how thoughts can affect the ability to cope.
- Challenging thinking patterns that hinder resilience.
- Generating alternative ways to deal with conflict and stress.
Part 2 teaches participants how to apply these skill to children, through:
- Modeling the skills and fostering resilience in children.
- Using their own resiliency skills to help them understand their children’s or clients’ behavior.
- Incorporating resiliency skills into their work by using child-friendly approaches.
This training can be completed in two full days, four half-days, six after-work sessions, or 10-12 brief sessions.
To access the RIRO skills training, click here.
4 Resilience Worksheets for Youth and Students
There are many resources to help students and youth build resilience, including worksheets they can work through on their own or with the guidance of a trusted adult.
A few of these worksheets are listed below.
1. Coloring in for Emotional Clarity
The goal of this worksheet is to help children and students explore their feelings through color.
At the same time, it’s a good way to help them gain some insight into the feelings they experience in different situations.

To guide students through this worksheet, ask students to recall a recent emotional experience. This could be positive, such as an exciting birthday party, or negative – like an argument with a friend.
The instructions are simple: have the students close their eyes and try to reconnect with their feelings during that situation, color in the Mandala in a way that represents how they feel.
They can use a variety of colors or just one color, as well as their own choice of materials – however it should best represent their feelings.
After they have colored each section in, discuss the color(s) with them. Ask them to reflect on why they chose the color or colors they used, and use questions and active listening to open up more dialogue if you feel it will help.
This Coloring in for Emotional Clarity worksheet can help students discover and express their own feelings, as well as help parents or teachers, learn about how the student or child is doing with each area of their life. Before issues can be addressed and learned from, they must first be discussed.
You can access the full worksheet with a subscription to the Positive Psychology Toolkit© and you can also click on the image to print the mandala.
2. My Gifts – Traits and Talents
Completing this exercise can help children and students recognize and appreciate the talents, strengths, and positive traits they have. Encouraging kids to see them as “gifts” adds a fun twist to the whole activity as your child creates a creative “gift box”.
To guide you through this exercise, you will need:
- Gift box template (find this in the worksheet)
- Scissors
- Glue
- Markers
- Craft items to decorate with (such as stickers, sequins, glitter, etc.)
- Small pieces of paper with different gifts, traits, and strengths written on them.
Begin by explaining that this exercise will focus on who you are inside.
The first step is identifying the gifts, traits and talents that students feel they have. These include qualities like:
- Modest
- Considerate
- Patient
- Creative
- Calm
- Gentle
- Helpful
- Bubbly
- Kind
There is also space at the end of this page to write down a few qualities or characteristics not already listed, so encourage students to be creative if they think some of their “gifts” or good qualities are missing.
The second step is for students to share these traits and talents that they chose. Students should describe why they chose each gift or quality and give examples of how these qualities fit them.
Step Three is to give students the gift box cutout provided. Have them cut along the dotted lines and arrange the box, then decorate it with their name, their favorite color(s), or any of the craft items they would like to use.
Click the link to download My Gifts – Traits and Talents.
3. Learning From My Work
This exercise helps students learn from how they did on a particular assignment or task and learn how to improve in the future.
In order to develop resilience, it’s important to be realistic about setting and striving towards goals, learning from one’s mistakes, and trying again.
This worksheet presents nine dichotomous pairs of statements with a scale in between. The student should be instructed to indicate on the scale how they feel in regards to these two opposite statements.
The statements include:
- “I did better than I thought I would” vs. “I didn’t do as well as I imagined”
- “I pushed myself and worked hard” vs. “I could have tried a bit harder”
- “I took a chance by trying out something new” vs. “I stuck to what I knew, because that’s what I feel sure of.”
- “I changed my work as I went along” vs. “I stuck to my approach throughout”
- “I listened to others’ feedback” vs. “I kept going using my own approach”
- “My work and ideas were my own” vs. “I had help from other sources”
- “I was clear on the task” vs. “I was unsure what I was supposed to do”
- “I’m satisfied with my results” vs. “I’m not content with my results”
- “I was working on a deadline” vs. “It was a continuing project”
Use the students’ responses on this Learning From My Work exercise to help them discover where they are satisfied with their work and where they could devote more attention. Encourage them to do better next time, and emphasize that their performance is always a work in progress.
If they feel they have failed themselves or their teacher, help them to see that failure is a crucial part of life and not the end of the world when we learn from it.
4. What Is Hope?
This simple worksheet can help students learn to develop hope and build resiliency.
It will guide students through a thought exercise in what hope is, how they tend to think about and experience hope, and how to facilitate greater hope in their lives.
This worksheet includes a series of questions to help students explore this topic, including:
- Aristotle once said: “Hope is a waking dream.” What do you feel this means to you, personally?
- Have your own hopes changed throughout your life? How?
- What are three of your biggest aspirations right now?
- How has being hopeful, or feeling hopeless, influenced choices you’ve made?
- Has anything happened to you that caused you to lose hope?
- What kind of things, people, or activities give you hope? Where do you feel your hope, or your hopelessness, comes from in life?
- In what ways do your surroundings give you more or less hope? How have they given you more or less hope in the past?
- What kinds of things need to occur for you to feel more hopeful about your life?
You can find this worksheet here.
4 Resilience Building Games for Kids in Primary School
Primary or elementary school is an excellent time to begin building resilience.
Children are so adaptable already, that introducing the idea of resilience is much easier than teaching resilience to adults.
Games are certainly one of the best ways to build resilience. Listed below are some of the best games for teaching resilience in primary or elementary school.
1. I Love My Classmate
This is a great game for helping foster kindness in children. Kindness is important on its own, but learning kindness for others in addition to the self is also vital as a piece of resilience.
This game is played with a number of chairs formed into a circle. Make sure there is one less chair than the number of players.
The game is played in the following steps:
- The person standing in the center of the circle begins by saying “I love my classmate, particularly my classmate who…”, completing the sentence with a piece of information that is true for him- or herself. For example, the player could say something like “… particularly my classmate who has a cat” or “… especially my classmate who plays hockey.”
- As soon as s/he is finished, everyone who this applies to (including the person in the center) moves from their chair to an empty one that is not right next to them.
- The person who remains in the middle begins a second round of the game.
This game will help children get to know each other if they don’t already know each other well, learn about what they have in common with others, and practice kindness towards one another by repeating the phrase “I love my classmate.”
Download the instructions for I Love My Classmate.
2. It’s Not a Secret…
This game can be played with only several pairs of children and some space. If there is an odd number of children, you can play with them to make an even number.
To play, separate students into pairs of two and designate one of them as student A and the other student B.
Instruct student A to listen to student B for a specified amount of time, perhaps 15 seconds for very young children or a minute for older children.
Instruct student B to finish the sentence “It’s not a secret that…” They can finish this sentence with any information about themselves, whether it’s their family structure, the classes they like best in school, their hobbies, their pets, their favorite or least favorite things or anything else they’d like to share.
Student B repeats this sentence several times, completing it with a new piece of information each time.
When the time is up, have students A and B switch roles, so A speaks while B listens.
This game is another good way for students to get to know each other and to practice active listening. It may even help strike up a few friendships! Having meaningful relationships and practicing kindness is a great way to build resilience.
Download the worksheet to read more about It’s Not a Secret.
3. Shuffle
Shuffle is played with a four-square court or four markers forming a square with an additional cone in the middle. Review rock-paper-scissors with the children before you begin.
The steps of the game are:
- Five players can play at a time, with each player occupying either a corner or the middle. All other children should be in a line, ready to play when their turn comes.
- The game begins when the person in the middle says “Shuffle.”
- At this point, all players must find a new corner or cone to occupy, but no one can go to the center cone.
- If two players arrive at a corner at the same time, they must play rock-paper-scissors for the corner. The winner stays in the corner, and the loser is “out.”
- The next person in line becomes the person in the middle and begins the next round.
This game helps children learn how to deal with conflict. Meaningful connections are vital to developing resilience, but conflict arises in all relationships at some point. While most conflicts cannot be solved with only “rock-paper-scissors,” this teaches children that conflict can be solved. Although they may be disappointed by being “out” of the game, they will quickly learn that, in life as in the game, their turn will come again.
You can read about this game and its other variations at this link: Shuffle.
4. Do The Hula

Do The Hula is played in a circle, with all children holding hands.
First, demonstrate how to get your body through a hula hoop without using your hands. Make sure that each child has a space in the circle.
Then, play the game as follows:
- Place the hula hoop over two people’s interlocked hands so it cannot escape the circle.
- Tell the children that the goal of the game is to get the hula hoop all the way around the circle without anyone letting go of their neighbors’ hands.
- Start the game, and have everyone cheer on the children that are currently trying to move the hula hoop.
- Once the game has been played for one round, discuss the group’s successes and challenges and try it again.
This game is a great way to show children that when conflict or challenges arise, there are ways to deal with them. Even if they face seemingly insurmountable challenges, together they can find a way to overcome them.
Variations on this game include challenging the group to beat a chosen time, playing with eyes shut, or dividing the circle into two circles and having them compete against each other.
To see more about this game, click Do The Hula.
What our readers think
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This is a comprehensive, doable and grounded resource material on Resiliency. Applicable though lifetime. You are such an amazing writer, Ms. Courtney
This is pretty amazing stuff i enjoyed reading , and the chance to learn more about this. i am currently in school and we have an assignment on this article. so thank you.
i would like to choose the “The Gifts” ….Positive regard is very important factor in an individual’ life especially for children because it motivates a student to move on and work hard. Positive reward cause positivity, motivation, passion for learning and confidence in children
I just read the resources on this page and although it’s July 2021 and somewhat late in the day, I really want to say ‘thank you’ to you, Courtney! This is AWESOME material and SO helpful. I am halfway through a year-long evidence-based coaching program and we have recently been discussing positive psychology which really resonates with me. So finding your blog was a real gift! Thank you so very much for sharing!