We’ve all felt stuck at one time or another. We ask ourselves, what’s next in our lives? And how do we move forward and flourish?
The answer is most often found in personal growth — an active and intentional journey of self-improvement and self-actualization (Ivtzan et al., 2011).
Personal growth — or personal development — should support our existing wellbeing and capacity to thrive through the creation of meaningful, value-driven lives (Nel & Govender, 2022).
In this article, we explore what we mean by personal growth, its relationship to wellness, and how theory and lessons learned from positive psychology can help transform lives.
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Understanding Personal Growth & Its Importance for Wellbeing
Psychologists, counselors, and coaches recognize the importance of becoming aware of our motives, values, personality, and behavior and being able to view them in a positive light (Ivtzan et al., 2011).
Continued personal growth is essential for wellbeing, supporting us as we encounter challenges, changes (both expected and unexpected), and daily experiences.
Such “growth initiative has been associated with higher levels of psychological wellbeing […] and lower levels of distress (for example, depression and anxiety)” (Ivtzan et al., 2011, p. 920).
Personal growth is vital for wellbeing because it feeds into our basic psychological needs.
While it requires motivation, it also becomes a catalyst for change as we continue to meet our needs of relatedness (connection), autonomy (control), and competence (mastery; Huang et al., 2023; Ryan & Deci, 2018).
When we follow a journey of personal growth, we choose flourishing over languishing, replacing a sense of stagnation in our lives with one of hope and action. We move from feeling emotionally flat, our existence dictated to us by circumstances to (Keyes, 2024):
Holding our emotions more loosely
Changing the stories we tell ourselves
Becoming more accepting of ourselves and others
Increasing our tolerance for stress and the pressures of life.
Personal growth, particularly when combined with positive psychology, supports us in directing our energies toward meeting our deeper needs, and it promotes wellbeing.
Identifying Growth Opportunities With the PERMA-Profiler
“Positive psychology is a theory of human strengths and potentials to which there are individual differences within the human species” (Snyder & Lopez, 2011, p. 98).
As such, it supports personal growth and wellbeing, yet must be considered unique and specific to each of us (Seligman, 2011). To move from languishing — a state of feeling flat, stuck, and uninspired — we must understand and reflect on what it might mean to us personally to (Keyes, 2024):
Follow our curiosity and learn new things
Build warm, deep, and trusting relationships
Appreciate and be grateful for ourselves and our place in the wider world
Find purpose and a profound sense of mattering (being significant)
Rediscover joy and play
When Martin Seligman (2011), one of the leaders in the field of positive psychology, became president of the American Psychology Association in 1989, he “urged the field of psychology to expand its focus beyond fixing mental illness to promoting sustainable wellbeing” (McQuaid & Kern, 2018, p. 12).
Seligman’s subsequent model for wellbeing, PERMA, has since become a valued and powerful tool for creating a life of flourishing and a yardstick for personal growth (Seligman, 2011; McQuaid & Kern, 2018):
Positive emotions — such as joy, happiness, hope, and gratitude
Engagement — flow; feeling wholly absorbed in a task
Relationships — building and maintaining positive and meaningful connections
Meaning — serving something bigger than ourselves
Accomplishment — achieving goals and a sense of mastery
The PERMA-Profiler is a powerful tool for measuring the five pillars of positive psychology and, ultimately, supporting personal growth (Butler & Kern, 2016).
This valuable instrument can be used in research, counseling, and coaching to assess individuals’ dimensions of wellbeing (positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment), compare their scores with where they wish to be, and set realistic goals.
As a tool for personal growth, the PERMA-Profiler supports our clients as they identify areas of their lives where they can make changes, align actions with their sense of meaning, and focus their energies.
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The Importance of Goal Setting & How to Get It Right
Many psychologists suggest that human subjective wellbeing cannot be fully explained by “objective external conditions or stable internal traits” (Boniwell & Tunariu, 2019, p. 158).
Goal setting is typically considered essential to maximizing our pursuit of personal growth and wellbeing. Whether short or long term, goals should (Boniwell & Tunariu, 2019):
Encourage a sense of purpose and meaning
Improve time management
Enhance self-esteem and self-efficacy
Support progress toward our dreams
Fascinatingly, the progress toward our goals, rather than their attainment, often offers the most personal growth and wellbeing (Boniwell & Tunariu, 2019).
Goal setting is a skill that can be learned and should be practiced. To maximize their benefits, goals should (Clough et al., 2021):
Be clearly defined
Motivate
Be challenging but achievable
Include regular feedback
Bigger goals should be broken down into smaller, subordinate goals to ensure continuous progress and promote focus while maintaining and reinforcing commitment over time (Höchli et al., 2019).
How to Identify & Leverage Your Clients’ Strengths
We can think of our clients’ signature strengths as positive traits that are core to who they are, including how they think, feel, and behave (Niemiec, 2018).
Identifying and applying signature strengths supports the client’s personal growth and wellbeing, invigorating their lives and enlivening their performances.
The aware–explore–apply model is a powerful and effective approach for helping clients (Niemiec, 2018).
Aware
The first step in understanding ourselves with the aim of personal growth is to increase self-awareness, particularly regarding signature strengths (Niemiec, 2018).
There are multiple approaches to identifying signature strengths, but the most popular involve:
The client working with the counselor, friends, and family to identify and label strengths
Next, it is essential to take time to connect the strengths identified with past and present successes, relationships, and achievements (Niemiec, 2018).
Self-reflection questions might include (Niemiec, 2018):
How do you currently express your signature strengths? When you imagine your best possible self, what strengths do you need? What strengths are you using when things are going well? What strengths are you leaning on when you find things tough?
Apply
Lastly, there is action planning. We can define actions and concrete goals that encourage the use of these strengths. Helpful questions to consider include (Niemiec, 2018):
How might you use your strengths each day in interesting and exciting ways? How could you use your strengths to reach your goals? What sort of changes would you like to see in your life?
For more guidance, review our article “How to Perform Strengths-Based Therapy and Counseling” to understand the importance of clients’ strengths in promoting personal growth and wellbeing in therapeutic settings.
The following worksheets help set goals associated with personal growth.
SMART goals ensure that actions are appropriately directed and motivating by being specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, manageable, and time-bound (Clough et al., 2021):
SMART+ Goals Worksheet — Capture goals and plan the micro-movements needed to achieve them.
Setting SMART+R Goals — Identify and prioritize multiple goals associated with personal development.
The GROW model is popular for coaching personal growth and supporting clients in achieving their value-led objectives (Whitmore, 2009).
15 Self-Development Questions to Ask Your Coaching Clients
The following questions are intended as a starting point for self-reflection, goal setting, and helping individuals identify areas for personal growth. Think of them as prompts or triggers to start the process.
They are based on the five PERMA pillars of positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment (Butler & Kern, 2016).
What actions could benefit your overall wellbeing and physical health?
What steps will expand your knowledge and skills in areas that interest you?
How could you create a daily routine supporting your wellbeing and personal growth?
Are you doing what’s needed to promote positive emotions daily?
How can you incorporate more gratitude and appreciation into your day?
Do you feel fully engaged and absorbed in activities that bring joy and fulfillment?
What activities or hobbies offer a sense of flow and deep engagement?
How satisfied are you with the quality of your relationships and social network?
What steps support your social connections?
Do you experience a sense of purpose and meaning in your life?
How often do you set and achieve personal goals that matter to you?
What actions align your daily activities with your sense of purpose?
How could you create more meaning in your work and daily responsibilities?
Are you regularly setting and working toward meaningful goals contributing to personal growth?
Are you celebrating your achievements and recognizing your progress along the way?
4 Best TED Talks About Personal Improvement
There are plenty of videos available online exploring personal growth and personal improvement.
Here are four of our favorites:
A dynamic prescription for personal growth - Chris Kent
Chris Kent’s valuable talk explores expert martial artist Bruce Lee’s philosophy for self-actualization and personal liberation.
How to become your best when life gives you its worst - Peter Sage
In this TED talk, Peter Sage shares his inspiring story of how he helped turn around the lives of criminals in Britain’s most violent prison.
The dark side of self improvement - Suzanne Eder
Suzanne Eder explains how life coaching has the potential to help people create lives they truly love.
How to grow as a person (and why it sucks) - Johnny Crowder
In this insightful talk, Johnny Crowder shares strategies for sustaining desired change.
15 Personal Growth & Development Quotes
Personal growth and development quotes can inspire and ignite our passion for change.
Here are 15 of our favorites (Girolimon, 2024; Saavedra, n.d.):
“Why are you going to choose failure when success is an option?”
― Jillian Michaels
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
— Ernest Hemingway
“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”
— John. C. Maxwell
“Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
— John F. Kennedy
“I am always doing what I cannot do yet in order to learn how to do it.”
― Vincent van Gogh
“If you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to help them build theirs.”
— Dhirubhai Ambani
“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
— Ayn Rand
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”
— Frederick Douglass
“Whatever makes you uncomfortable is your biggest opportunity for growth.”
— Bryant McGill
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”
— Steve Jobs
“Fearlessness is like a muscle. I know from my own life that the more I exercise it the more natural it becomes to not let my fears run me.”
— Arianna Huffington
“Success isn’t about the end result, it’s about what you learn along the way.”
— Vera Wang
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
— Carl Bard
“You can do anything you want, just not everything. Pick what you want, work harder than most to get it, and believe in yourself.”
― Daina Trout
“Recognizing that you are not where you want to be is a starting point to begin changing your life.”
— Deborah Day
17 Tools To Increase Motivation and Goal Achievement
These 17 Motivation & Goal Achievement Exercises [PDF] contain all you need to help others set meaningful goals, increase self-drive, and experience greater accomplishment and life satisfaction.
The Johari Window is a visual tool to boost self-awareness, personal insights, and knowledge of others, and it is powerful for personal growth.
Make a list of answers to the following questions:
What do you and others know about you? What don’t you know about yourself that others do? What do you know about yourself that others don’t? What things about yourself are unknown to you and others?
Through reflecting on the answers, you can set personal objectives for reducing blind spots, sharing hidden traits, expanding open areas, and reducing unknown areas.
Finding Your Ikigai
Ikigai can help you find purpose in life and identify areas for personal growth.
It is consistently found at the convergence of four fundamental elements, namely, passion (what you love), mission (what the world needs), vocation (what you are good at), and profession (what you can get paid for).
Ask yourself the following questions:
What do you love? What does the world need? What can you get paid for? What are you good at?
Answers that overlap will offer insight into where to focus resources and energies to create a life of meaning and purpose.
Personal growth is vital to moving forward in our lives.
For many of us, it involves becoming unstuck or transitioning from languishing to flourishing. It supports our existing and future wellness, leading to a journey of action, self-actualization, and improvement (Ivtzan et al., 2011).
As such, personal growth is equally about developing a mindset aligned with openness and a readiness for change while setting goals that enliven, engage, and energize the individual to move from the comfort zone to the growth zone (Dweck, 2017).
Positive psychology provides a valuable and exciting opportunity to embrace change, offering tools, strategies, and frameworks that support personal development and the move from stagnation, or languishing, in our lives to flourishing and thriving (Keyes, 2024).
With the support of a skilled coach or counselor, clients can embrace their curiosity, find purpose, and adopt a more joyful outlook while setting short- and long-term goals that create a more valued and meaningful existence.
As an individual seeking personal growth or a mental health professional working with clients wishing to transform their lives, you will find many actionable ways in this article to create an environment and mindset that foster positive growth.
Isn't personal growth just about fixing my weaknesses?
No. Personal growth focuses on individual development and self-actualization rather than fixing our weaknesses or what’s wrong with our lives. In doing so, the individual learns skills and strategies to help them manage their challenges more effectively (Ivtzan et al., 2011).
Does personal growth guarantee happiness?
Personal growth cannot guarantee happiness. Yet, working toward our short- and long-term goals typically improves our mental and physical wellbeing while helping us recognize, savor, and celebrate the positives in our lives (Seligman, 2011; Keyes, 2024).
I feel stuck. How can positive psychology help me grow as a person?
Feeling stuck is not always a bad thing and can even be a precursor to personal growth. Positive psychology offers a research-backed approach for moving from a state of languishing and stagnation to one of flourishing (Keyes, 2024).
References
Boniwell, I., & Tunariu, A. D. (2019). Positive psychology: Theory, research and applications. Open University Press. https://www.amazon.co.za/dp/033526218X/
Butler, J., & Kern, M. L. (2016). The PERMA-Profiler: A brief multidimensional measure of flourishing. International Journal of Wellbeing, 6(3), 1–48. https://doi.org/10.5502/ijw.v6i3.526
Clough, P., Strycharczyk, D., & Perry, J. L. (2021). Developing mental toughness: Strategies to improve performance, resilience and wellbeing in individuals and organizations. Kogan Page. https://www.amazon.co.za/dp/1398601845/
Höchli, B., Brügger, A., & Messner, C. (2019). Making New Year’s resolutions that stick: Exploring how superordinate and subordinate goals motivate goal pursuit. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 12(1), 30–52. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12172
Huang, X., Lam, S. M., Wang, C., & Xu, P. (2023). Striving for personal growth matters: The relationship between personal growth initiative, teacher engagement and instructional quality. British Journal of Educational Psychology, 93(3), 658–675. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjep.12583
Ivtzan, I., Chan, C. P. L., Gardner, H. E., & Prashar, K. (2011). Linking religion and spirituality with psychological well-being: Examining self-actualisation, meaning in life, and personal growth initiative. Journal of Religion and Health, 52(3), 915–929. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-011-9540-2
McQuaid, M., & Kern, P. (2018). Your wellbeing blueprint: Feeling good and doing well at work. Michelle McQuaid. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0987271423/
Nel, K. A., & Govender, S. (2022). Existential positive psychology (EPP): A positive tool for healing existential anxieties in South Africa during, and after, the COVID-19 pandemic. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(16), Article 10248. https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/19/16/10248#
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2018). Self-determination theory: Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness. Guilford Press. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462538967/
Seligman, M. (2011). Flourish: A new understanding of happiness and well-being and how to achieve them. Nicholas Brealey. https://www.amazon.co.za/dp/1857885694/
Jeremy Sutton, Ph.D., is an experienced psychologist, consultant, and coach. Jeremy also teaches psychology online at the University of Liverpool and works as a coach and educator, specialising in positive psychology, performance psychology, sports psychology, and strength-based psychology.
We’ve all felt stuck at one time or another. We ask ourselves, what’s next in our lives? And how do we move forward and flourish?
“Positive psychology is a theory of human strengths and potentials to which there are individual differences within the human species” (Snyder & Lopez, 2011, p. 98).
The following questions are intended as a starting point for self-reflection, goal setting, and helping individuals identify areas for personal growth. Think of them as prompts or triggers to start the process.
