3. Relationships that increase your sense of belonging (significance)
Although social connections are important, not all social relationships are equal. Make sure to focus on relationships that make you feel like you ‘belong’ (Lambert et al., 2013), where you feel like you fit in with the members of that group, and where there is group identification.
Participants who were asked to think of people with whom they felt that they belonged reported higher ratings of meaningfulness compared to participants who remembered instances when they received help or support, or instances when they received positive compliments or statements of high social value (Lambert et al., 2013).
These findings also tie in with the negative impact of ostracism on the sense of meaning (Williams, 2007). If you feel like you don’t belong, then you have a lower sense of meaningfulness.
4. Monitor your mood (coherence)
Experimental laboratory studies have demonstrated a temporal relationship between positive mood and sense of meaning. Inducing a positive mood results in higher reports of meaning (for a review, see Heintzelman & King, 2014).
Managing your mood can be difficult. However, there are some techniques that you can use; for example, make time for interests and hobbies, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, eat healthily, and consider developing a mindfulness practice (e.g., through meditation).
5. Take control of your environment (coherence)
A cognitively coherent environment can boost ratings of meaningfulness (Heintzelman & King, 2014).
Heintzelman and King (2014) suggest that routines, patterns (which could refer to your behavior and the behavior of your family), time blocking, and clean environments can all contribute to an increased ability to make sense of one’s environment, which in turn can lead to an increased sense of meaningfulness.
Simple ways to induce a cognitively coherent environment would be to implement a fixed routine, schedule time for unexpected tasks (e.g., “emergencies” delivered via email), formally schedule downtime for exercise and passions, and maintain a tidy environment (in other words, your desk is not the place for all those dirty coffee mugs).
However, do not be unreasonable with your expectations of your environment. Unexpected challenges will pop up. Your child might have a meltdown, or you might drop a box of eggs on the floor, but these experiences will have less of a negative impact if you already have a sense of control over your environment.
Finding Meaning as You Age
Our life circumstances and experiences change as we age. We go through various life stages, such as parenthood and career changes, and each stage presents us with unique challenges and achievements.
We are also likely to experience multiple losses as we age. We may lose our parents, our partners, face layoffs, or develop an illness. The stereotypical concept of an older adult is of someone who is frail and requires care; however, older age is not synonymous with a less meaningful or valuable life.
In fact, many older adults live incredibly long, busy lives, and their positive psychological profiles act as a buttress against illness, loneliness, and depression. There is vast evidence that centenarians have very positive attitudes and psychological traits and few negative personality traits.
Centenarians are more relaxed and easygoing (Samuelsson et al., 1997), place a great deal of importance on social relationships and events (Wong et al., 2014), have a more positive life attitude in general (Wong et al., 2014), and report low anxiety (Samuelsson et al., 1997).
These positive aging traits and attitudes, coupled with the few negative traits, act as a protective buffer against depression, illness, and loneliness (Jopp, Park, Lehrfeld, & Paggi, 2016; Keyes, 2000), and contribute to the longevity of centenarians.
It is difficult to change your personality traits suddenly; however, it is possible to change your thinking patterns by working with a therapist trained in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Your therapist can help you identify and change negative patterns of thinking and behavior, and help you to adopt a positive pattern of thinking.
Centenarians greatly value their social experiences and are actively involved in social events (Wong et al., 2014).
It can be difficult for older adults to make new social connections, especially after retirement, because the ‘natural environment’ for meeting new people, such as the workplace, is removed. However, this doesn’t mean that there aren’t ways for older adults to meet new people and form new relationships.
With retirement comes more free time and possibly an opportunity to develop a new hobby or passion. And as we previously mentioned, finding a passion is one way to develop meaning. Vallerand (2012) provides an excellent summary of the role that motivation plays in developing passion and how passion leads to a meaningful life.
If you are an older adult, then perhaps this is good time in your life to start. Remember that positive (rather than negative/obsessive/maladaptive) passions are born from the positive association made with particular activities (Vallerand, 2012). These passions are activities that we find time for, that we invest in, and that we embody.
For example, if you have a passion for painting, you will carve out time to paint, experience a great deal of happiness when you complete the activity, and may embody that passion in your understanding of your identity (e.g., you may consider yourself a ‘painter’). Embodying the activity into your understanding of your self-concept is one of the first steps toward laying habits (Clear, 2018).
Harmonious passions (Vallerand, 2012) play a vital role in how we find meaning in our lives.
These positive passions are worth developing. Not only do they help us find meaning in our lives, but older adults who do have a ‘passion’ also score higher on measures of psychological wellbeing. They report higher life satisfaction, better health, more meaning in their lives, and lower anxiety and lower depression than adults without a passion (Rosseau & Vallerand, 2003, as cited in Vallerand, 2012).
To summarize, it appears that centenarians adopt a positive mindset and psychological traits and value their social relationships. These factors may contribute to a longer, more meaningful life and protect against illness and depression. Fostering interests and hobbies is another way to find meaning in your life, buttressing against negative feelings and thoughts.
So, what can you do to find meaning in your life as you age? The following list can give you some guidance:
1. Make time for friends, family, and social events
It’s easy to neglect social relationships in favor of alone time (which is also important) or work deadlines, but promoting these relationships will have a more positive impact in the long term. If you are the type of person who forgets to see friends or family, add a reminder to your calendar.
At some stage of our time on Earth, we might wonder about the meaning of our life.
At some stage in our lives, we will be confronted with variations of the following questions:
What our readers think
Really informative article – however, free download never arrived
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This post was truly worthwhile to read. I wanted to say thank you for the key points you have pointed out as they are enlightening.
Hi All,
As an elder stateman I congratulate you all on a job well done.
God Bless you all.
Yours Sincerely
Thomas A Mc Henry (Ret ‘d)
( Yesterday’s Man)
This concept of Ikigai is the best. It set apart this article from others that just say “Find something you like” and gave a visual representation of what finding meaning is. I recently discovered something I am passionate about, am good at in some ways (although I need professional training and knowledge), and would like to work in as a career. In fact, this site led me to the realization that I would like to pursue that occupation. There’s an endless goldmine of useful information on this site.
Really great article thank you. As an Occupational Therapist in mental health ‘meaningful occupation ‘ is at the core of my philosophy. Your article puts the concept very concisely and has some excellent quotes and explanations to illustrate a meaningful life that so many people struggle to comprehend.
Please correct the dates of Marcus Aurelius’ reign.
Thank you for the article.
Agape
Hi Agape,
Good spotting! We’ll pass this onto our editing team.
Kind regards,
Nicole
Thank you! This is a very informative article. Here are very detailed steps to identify your calling, your life purpose. Unfortunately, life can’t be that simple, and to realize your meaning, you need to gain and comprehend life experience. I can’t rationally think things over when I don’t feel it emotionally.
I hope you know what I mean. I can’t find my calling because I don’t feel that’s what I want to do. And I can’t answer the rest of the questions at the beginning of this article unambiguously. Well, it turns out I have a lot of work to do on myself…
Hey mate 🙂 , How are you ?
Spinoza states something like that : “to realize your meaning, you need to gain and comprehend life experience.” Check out this guy Spinoza, Ethics
” For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. ”
I guess the point is to try doing things to find out what makes you happy and your life meaningfull:
“I believe that I am not responsible for the meaningfulness or meaninglessness of life, but that I am responsible for what I do with the life I’ve got.”
So if u want to know more about it u can search for SPINOZAS theory
I have the same work I need to do myself. This has opened up alot of questions that I don’t have easy answers to. I will take steps, small steps but I must fulfill this in my life in some way. I believe this will help me in great ways.