Examples of Intrusive Thoughts: About Death, In Relationships, During Climax, and Violent in Nature
Dr. Reese describes one of her own intrusive and alarming thoughts: when her son was a baby, she couldn’t stand at the top of her stairs without getting an image of dropping her son and seeing him get hurt. She had no wishes to harm her child, and felt terrified at this thought!
She also gives a few other examples of intrusive thoughts that you may have had once or twice:
“Perhaps you’ve suddenly had the image of pushing someone off a train platform, kicking a dog, yelling in church, jumping out of a moving car, or stabbing someone you love” (Reese, 2011).
She goes on to note that, as we know by now, such intrusive thoughts are perfectly normal. If you have a hidden desire to do any of these things, that’s a different story, but having crazy thoughts pop into your head now and then is not abnormal.
Dr. Elaine Ryan at the Mood Smith website offers a sort of typology of intrusive thoughts that she has noticed in her work. She lists the following categories and examples:
- Intrusive thoughts about sexual acts
o Example: a normally gentle and kind person getting an image of him- or herself engaging in a violent sexual act or engaging in sex with inappropriate people or things.
- Intrusive thoughts regarding children
o Example: a happy and proud new mother getting a sudden image of dropping her baby out of the second story window or squeezing him too tightly and causing him harm.
- Aggressive thoughts
o Example: a man sees his beloved wife chopping up vegetables with a knife and has an unbidden image of stabbing her with the knife.
- Intrusive thoughts about religion/aspects of one’s religion
o Example: a devout Muslim has a sudden and unexpected urge to stand up during the service and start yelling obscenities.
- Sexual identity thoughts
o Example: a strictly heterosexual woman has a random thought about sleeping with another woman.
- Intrusive thoughts about family members
o Example: a brother who has never felt an attraction to his sister suddenly getting an arousing mental image of her naked.
- Intrusive thoughts about death
o Example: a woman in perfect health who has unwelcome and unbidden thoughts about dying from a heart attack or suffering a stroke.
- Intrusive thoughts about safety
o Example: a man at work who suddenly has a crippling thought about his young son getting hit by a car or slipping and falling on a sharp object (Ryan, 2017).
Intrusive thoughts usually fall into one (or more) of these categories, but they may be on an entirely different topic or in a different realm—the important thing that separates an intrusive thought from a run-of-the-mill thought is that it is distressing to you and that you’d probably rather not have the thought!
The Calm Clinic uses a different method to categorize intrusive thoughts, but it overlaps with Ryan’s typology quite a bit. They note three general categories:
- Unwanted memories (see the section on PTSD below);
- Violent thoughts (common in anxiety and OCD);
- Sexual thoughts (common in specific types of anxiety disorders).
Putting these two categories together, we can see that the most frequently reported unwanted thoughts often revolve around aggression and violence, flashbacks and memories, and/or thoughts of an inappropriate sexual nature.
Intrusive Thoughts and Other Mental Health Issues
As we learned earlier, the occasional intrusive thought is completely normal; however, if you find yourself having recurring distressing thoughts or dwelling on your intrusive thoughts, you may be struggling with one of the disorders we mentioned earlier.
We’ll cover the relationship of intrusive thoughts to six of the disorders in which such thoughts are a common symptom:
- Anxiety;
- OCD;
- Depression;
- TSD;
- Bipolar Disorder;
- ADHD.
Intrusive Thoughts and Anxiety
Although those diagnosed with OCD generally suffer from more graphic, more violent, or more inappropriate intrusive thoughts, those with anxiety often find themselves sucked in by unwanted thoughts of a less intense (but no less unwanted) caliber.
People with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) may be especially prone to worrying about a family member’s safety. People with social-specific form of anxiety (like a social phobia) may have difficulty moving past memories of a time when they made a mistake or said or did something foolish (Calm Clinic, n.d.).
When a person with anxiety is confronted with a sudden and unwanted thought, they often take the worst possible action: obsessing over it, trying to rid it from their minds, and inadvertently giving it all sorts of power that it didn’t have before (Seif & Winston, 2018).
Intrusive Thoughts and OCD
Intrusive thoughts are a core symptom of OCD, and something that virtually all of those diagnosed with OCD suffer from.
Dr. Robert L. Leahy (2009) describes it this way:
“You have some thoughts or sensations that you don’t like. ‘Why am I having those bizarre, sick, disgusting, unwanted thoughts?’”
These thoughts lead to what Leahy calls a negative evaluation of thoughts—you think there is something wrong with you for thinking these thoughts, and that you “shouldn’t” have them. You might decide that you have a responsibility to address these thoughts, either by controlling and shunning them or by getting reassurance from others.
This is what sets OCD sufferers apart from others in terms of intrusive thoughts: it’s their reaction to them that causes the problems. Anxiety treatment expert Dr. Debra Kissen notes that she has a list of common intrusive thoughts—things like losing control, doing something violent, acting out sexually—that around 90% of people report having at least once or twice.
The difference between most people and people with OCD is that people without OCD are only “mildly bothered” by these thoughts, while those with OCD are often extremely distressed about them (Kissen, 2017).
Intrusive Thoughts and Depression
People with anxiety and OCD aren’t the only ones to face distress over intrusive thoughts; people with depression are also prone to them.
Repetitive intrusive thoughts often lead to depression, especially when they are specifically depressive thoughts. These repetitive depressive thoughts are known as rumination. When people ruminate, they focus on a problematic thought, behavior, or other issue and worry at it like a dog with a bone. They return to it again and again, constantly trying to figure out a solution but never actually solving it (Smith, 2017).
Intrusive thoughts that someone with depression may have include:
- Evaluating oneself in extremes (i.e., seeing everything in black and white);
- Always focusing on the negatives and expecting the worst to happen;
- Ruminating over a specific bad experience and generalizing to all similar experiences in the future;
- Thinking too much (e.g., getting “too in your head” and overanalyzing);
- Trying to read others’ minds or assuming you know what they’re thinking or what their intentions are;
- Predicting that something bad will happen and accepting that prediction as “fate;”
- Magnifying any perceived slight or insult;
- Considering one’s thoughts to be true and factual;
- Feeling responsible for things that are not in one’s control, and assuming the worst will happen (Smith, 2017).
These thoughts can take over a person’s mind and keep them from being objective and seeing the truth of their situation—that these are just thoughts, that they are not necessarily true, and that they’re not reflective of reality.
Intrusive Thoughts and PTSD
People with PTSD can also experience intrusive thoughts, although they’re generally more specific to a previous traumatic incident than broader “what if” thoughts. These thoughts are often connected to memories of the traumatic event, and may even be flashbacks to the event itself.
You can think of this PTSD symptom as being stuck in the past—individuals have trouble forgetting what happened to them and their brain constantly recalls it through intrusive thoughts, memories, flashbacks (also known as reliving the traumatic event), and nightmares (Tull, 2018). The brain can even bring up the exact bodily sensations they felt at the time of the event, making it even more difficult to keep the past in the past.
These intrusive thoughts cause the sufferer to be on “high alert,” or in what is known as the “fight or flight” state. They are on full alert and constantly dealing with a flood of the hormones your brain releases when it detects a dangerous situation.
Intrusive Thoughts and Bipolar Disorder
People diagnosed with bipolar disorder can also suffer from intrusive thoughts and obsessive thinking. Common estimates are that at least a fifth of people with bipolar disorder are plagued with obsessive, intrusive thoughts (Flanigan, 2017).
This creates a sort of “hamster wheel in the brain,” in which those suffering from bipolar disorder get caught up in a new obsession every week—or even every day—and ruminate on it until another problem comes along (Flanigan, 2017).
Psychiatrist Helen Farrell puts it this way:
“It’s almost like people… grab the shovel and start digging and can’t wait to see what they find, but they wind up getting entrenched in their thoughts, and before they know it, they’re deep in a pit of nothing. All the stuff they were originally excited about is just not there” (Flanigan, 2017).
These obsessive thoughts and worries have the unfortunate effects of interrupting sleep, leading you on a wild goose chase or—even worse—to harmful or dysfunctional behaviors, taking up all of your attention and leaving you unable to focus.
Intrusive Thoughts and ADHD
That last bit should sound familiar to anyone with ADHD, or anyone who has a loved one with ADHD.
The classic symptom of ADHD is difficulty in paying attention, even when there is no obvious source of distraction. Those diagnosed with ADHD may simply find it hard to focus, but it turns out that many also struggle with intrusive, repetitive, or disturbing thoughts.
A study on the subject found that those with ADHD experienced significantly more distressing and anxious thoughts than those without ADHD, and reported much more worrying and rumination (Abramaovitch & Schweiger, 2009). This symptom similarity causes a large overlap between ADHD and OCD, which can make an accurate diagnosis difficult to determine (Silver, n.d.).
What our readers think
Well written and well organized article. Engages the reader from the beginning to the end and provides useful information towards symptom relief and patient support.
i obsess over violent things which have actually happened like the torture/murder of animalsor people including children or even infants but i cant get them out of my head & can see it as if iwas there!i cant seem to get rid of these things & getvery upset or depressed over them!
I have been having random and unwanted thoughts usually of a sexual or violent nature and had been thinking I must be some kind of monster. Although I would never act on them, my mind makes me feel like I want to and it’s been very disturbing to me. I’m so glad to read that this is common and a part of my mental health journey and that it doesn’t redefine who I am as a person.
Hi Jessica,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this, but I’m glad you found some comfort in knowing you’re not alone. Intrusive thoughts can be really unsettling, but they don’t define who you are. Many people experience them, and they can be managed. If they’re causing you a lot of distress, it might be helpful to talk to a professional.
Psychology Today has a great directory you can use to find therapists in your local area. Usually, the therapists provide a summary in their profile with their areas of expertise and types of issues they are used to working with.
Warm regards,
Julia | Community Manager
When you say to not push away these thoughts, does pushing away mean blocking the thoughts from entering my mind which usually helps it go away for me sometimes or is there something else that you mean by not pushing away these thoughts? Is there an example you can provide of how I shouldn’t push them away exactly? Sometimes it’s hard to continue doing what i’m doing without at least blocking the thoughts a little bit so they stop trying to convince me to do something. Thank you for this article by the way it has helped.
Hi Alex,
Thank you for your comment and question!
When we say “don’t push away thoughts,” it means not actively blocking or suppressing them. Blocking thoughts might provide temporary relief, but it’s not a sustainable solution. Instead, try acknowledging and accepting the thoughts without judgment. For example, if an intrusive thought arises while you’re working, notice it, observe it without getting caught up in it, and then refocus on your task. It takes practice, but with time, you can develop a healthier relationship with your thoughts.
If you’re struggling, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. You can find a directory of licensed therapists here (and note that you can change the country setting in the top-right corner). You’ll also find that there are a range of filters to help you drill down to the type of support you need.
I hope this helps!
Kind regards,
Julia | Community Manager
Wow, I have suffered from intrusive thoughts for 50 years now. I started taking Paxil many years ago and for years it worked wonders for me. Recently the thought thing has returned and can make my days quite miserable. Everything that you mentioned is right on. When I realize that I am not alone it helps calm my fears. Also I was wondering if augmenting the Paxil with something new might be helpful. Thanks for your article and here’s to “better thinking days” if you had a practice in my area I would make an appointment asap.
Hi Don!
I’m really glad to hear that you found our article helpful and relatable. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in dealing with intrusive thoughts, and many people find solace in knowing that others share similar experiences.
As for your question about augmenting Paxil, I’m not a medical professional, but it could be worth discussing this with your doctor or a mental health professional. They can provide guidance on whether adding another medication, adjusting the dosage, or trying an alternative treatment might be beneficial for your specific situation.
Wishing you all the best on your journey!
Kind regards,
Julia | Community Manager
Thank you so much I used to think my thoughts were things to worry about but actions are way more important. I am free to think again but with no fear of it being anything other than a thought.
I was diagnosed with harm OCD since April 2022. I was very disturbed,terrified, guilty and always crying to the point that I couldn’t go on with my daily routine. I sought a psychiatrist help and she prescribed me with Lexapro. I had to scale up the medicine dosage to 20 mg every night and the intrusive thoughts totally did not go away, but I was able to manage my emotions and not get too affected when the intrusive thoughts came.
I stopped myself from taking Lexapro a week ago as my supplies ran out and me wanting to see if I can manage the symptoms on my own without medication. The relapse of symptoms happened and I find myself getting affected emotionally again. But I have better understanding of OCD now and I am trying my best to manage my emotional responses to it. It is tough but I am determined to come back to a much more healthier state of mind & emotions.
What I realized was that the medication helped to suppress the symptoms, but it is not a cure. The moment I stopped the medication, the symptoms came back.
I am trying the methods outlined in the article and I agree that meditation helps a great deal to source out our internal power & wisdom, our true self.
The journey is tough and challenging. I pray for everyone who is going through these challenges to not give up. Continue to believe in yourself and the higher power for healing & restoration.
Thank you to Ms Courtney for the thorough and detailed write up
Ocd ruminative ocd of fears with ptsd not my thoughts only fears and ptsd when a word automatically appears unwanted as a fear based thought it is a thought of fear not a thought of wanting but a fear of anxiety. Anxiety fearful thoughts of the worst that could happen but in reality its a fear but ive been through trauma -ptsd And assault in domestic violence along with sexual assault also hearing stories of kids being assaulted and it was the worst thing i have ever heard. I focused on thinking of the worst fear in the world so i could function to distract myself from being a victim of these traumas and the guilt and the shame of my own ptsd to pull myself out of feeling depressed but it becomes complex trauma and it ruminates with ocd and ptsd to some point of unknown diagnosis of adhd because its that repeative but with this horrible illness of ocd and ptsd there is no way of ever being able to just stop these thoughts well i call them my fears because i am not thinking of these sinister thoughts as they are fears and ptsd . Under standing ocd is frustrating because people misconcept the term of thoughts because my ocd is to be perfect and safe . If uneducated people misunderstand this concept of ocd and how its a fear based thought not a want it would ease the anxiety of people with ocd.These words of fearful thoughts they are not ours its ptsd not our thoughts to hold but they are the worst fears i have ever had along with ocd,ptsd and it ruminates in my head regardless of having caffeine or having to wipe self out with alcohol . I do not have intentions of ever acting on these fears they are words but online they call them thoughts but its anxiety and not reality it is a fear. If you have ocd do not ever hang out with people that a toxic or rude or that are animals to cause you ptsd and fear along with horrible stories because its hard to stop ruminating of these fears/thoughts . I have ocd where everything has to be perfect like gardens and butterflies and happy honest people that are safe but the world doesnt exist of only decent people so for us with ptsd it is very hard to live with ocd but cbt counsilling helps alot to feel normal . Remember its not your thoughts its just a fear there not wants or needs they are fears of anxiety . I have tried every tablet on the market and fluroxitine has saved my life i feel in control with excercise i took myself on effexor all the way to 120 mg and my body was sedated of compulsive behaviour episodes but in my mind i had more ocd and it become so bad that checking doors and windows slamming them to make sure they are locked to feel safe , but because of my ptsd i was hyper vigilante for my safety to feel safe at night time until i could snap out of compulsive behaviours. I hate ocd and ptsd but the way i have decribed my illness is to hopefully save someone who is unsure why this ruminating intrusive fear based thoughts are happening due to ptsd and ocd its not you its the illness. I am a good person with good intentions I am not my ptsd or ocd understanding reality and being in control has helped me live with ptsd and ocd . I feel trying to learn and just self improvement and focusing on self really helps me be partiality normal to live with ocd and ptsd.
Hi!
Whenever I have really hard times in life my stress/anxiety manifests as intrusive thoughts. It almost feels like my brain is trying to protect me of what could go wrong next or if I’m actually happy, it wants to drop my mood just in case I end up feeling bad again.
I can always see how my intrusive thoughts came to be. It’ll usually be some thoughts/triggers/images that I’ve seen that end up coming together over time to create such a thought.
It’s hard because sometimes it makes me feel like I need to prove my thoughts wrong by going and directly doing what’s bothering me or exposing myself to it which seems wrong but also seems kinda like exposure therapy to me. I also talk out my thoughts to my mother but I don’t end up seeking reassurance. I truly hope I’m doing the right things. There have been slip-ups if I end up ruminating or genuinely believing the thought but most of the time I either (like i said before) prove it wrong/expose myself/see how my brain made that thought and realising it just made it with a bunch of random things I saw that day or over a few days/laughing at it/letting it go naturally.
I sometimes do worry that I have OCD but this only ever happens when I’m having a hard time so, does it count? Also, the two times this has happened is when my B12 vitamin and thallesemia disorder has been playing up which causes me to have heightened anxiety anyways.
The one other time it happened was during covid, seeing all the death rates and my mum getting ill (with me needing to take care of her) caused me to have intrusive thoughts about people I love dying.
Hi Melis,
Well done on identifying that what you are experiencing is likely intrusive thoughts. It is not unusual for intrusive thoughts to disrupt our happy moods. This can be our mind’s misguided way of trying to protect us “just in case” something goes wrong. It’s also not uncommon for symptoms of OCD to come and go depending on our current stress levels.
This comment section is no substitute for the support of a licensed professional who can help identify whether what you’re experiencing “counts” according to diagnostic criteria, so I’d encourage you to consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in OCD. Regardless of whether you’d like to seek a diagnosis, a professional can help you to explore the stress-related triggers for your intrusive thoughts and things you can do to help you overcome them and live more peacefully. This may include ways to continue “letting go” of the thoughts as you describe.
You can find a directory of licensed therapists here (and note that you can change the country setting in the top-right corner): https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/counselling
You may also find some of the self-help resources I’ve recommended to other commenters on this post useful, such as this guide: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd-self-help-guide
I wish all the best, and take care.
– Nicole | Community Manager
Thanks for the article.
I’m pretty sure what I have is intrusive thoughts. anyways I’m 19yr male and I lived a pretty simple life. I’ve always had trouble with OCD, compulsions and intrusive thoughts. Just recently I’ve been pretty anxious about my arousal. I know it sounds weird but I heard it was called something like Sexual Obsession OCD. Pretty much I’ve recently been getting thoughts about my gf sleeping with another guy and getting aroused to it. (cuckolding). I’m like 90% sure I don’t though…. but that’s were my intrusive thoughts come from and my overthinking self. A lot of what if’s. Like I already get nervous from someone cheating on me but now I also get nervous that I might get aroused to it. It disgust me. I don’t wanna get aroused to that. Again I’m pretty sure I don’t get aroused to that… but the uncertainty is what makes me anxious and gives me anxiety.
Anyways I think what I have is intrusive thoughts/OCD which is making me overthink. So I’m gonna try your treatment and see if it works because being constantly anxious about the future sucks.