Emotion Regulation Strategies: How to Choose What Works

As a therapist, helping clients develop effective emotion regulation skills is a central part of my clinical practice.

I often see how the success of different emotion regulation strategies depends on timing and emotional intensity.

Many clients have tried various regulation techniques such as breathing exercises, reframing thoughts, and journaling. Yet they still feel caught in cycles of anxiety, anger, rumination, or emotional shutdown.

Often, the issue is a mismatch between the strategy and the emotional moment. Effective emotion regulation strategies involve matching the right approach to the right moment.

This article introduces a practical decision framework for selecting effective emotion regulation strategies so that therapists can match the right intervention to the emotional moment.

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What Is Emotion Regulation? (And What Is It Not?)

Emotion regulation refers to the processes through which we notice, understand, and influence our emotional responses so that they can be experienced and expressed in ways that support our wellbeing and effective functioning (McRae & Gross, 2020).

In practical therapy terms, emotion regulation involves helping clients recognize emotional signals, understand what their emotions communicate, and respond in ways that align with their personal goals and values (Eisenberg & Spinrad, 2004).

Effective regulation allows clients to modulate emotional intensity, duration, and expression so that their emotions remain informative without becoming overwhelming (Webb et al., 2012).

For a deeper exploration, see Emotional Regulation: 5 Evidence-Based Regulation Techniques.

And what is it not?

Emotion regulation is closely related to several other psychological concepts but is distinct from them. Let’s dig into some of these similar concepts and how they differ from emotion regulation work.

Emotion regulation vs. coping

Coping refers to the strategies clients may use to manage stressful situations (Da Costa Dutra et al., 2023). These strategies may involve problem-solving, support seeking, or changing aspects of their environment.

Regulation skills, by contrast, focus specifically on how your clients manage their emotional responses to those situations (McRae & Gross, 2020).

Emotion regulation vs. distress tolerance

Distress tolerance refers to the ability to endure emotional discomfort without engaging in harmful behaviors (Larrazabal et al., 2022).

Tolerance is an important component of emotion regulation, particularly during moments of intense emotional activation. Regulation also includes processes that shape emotional responses over time, such as awareness, interpretation, and behavioral choices (Eisenberg & Spinrad, 2004).

Emotion regulation vs. suppression or avoidance

Some clients may attempt to manage their emotions by suppressing or avoiding them. While this may temporarily reduce emotional expression, research suggests it can increase physiological stress and emotional rebound over time (Gross & Levenson, 1997).

What Are Emotion Regulation Strategies?

Emotion regulation strategies refer to the practical techniques people use to influence their emotional experiences. These strategies may target attention, physiology, interpretation, behavior, or social interactions (Webb et al., 2012).

Some strategies focus on calming emotional intensity in the moment, such as grounding or breathing exercises. Others help reshape emotional responses over time, such as cognitive reframing or value-based action (McRae & Gross, 2020).

Understanding how different emotion regulation strategies work can help therapists choose interventions that match the emotional situation their clients are facing.

Mechanisms Behind Emotion Regulation Strategies

Research suggests that many emotion regulation strategies operate through a small set of underlying psychological mechanisms (Morawetz et al., 2017).

One technique might involve slow breathing, another reframing thoughts, and another changing behavior. Yet beneath these approaches lies a smaller set of core mechanisms: the processes through which emotional experiences are influenced (Morawetz et al., 2017).

Understanding these mechanisms can help therapists choose emotion regulation strategies more effectively. Instead of asking, “Which intervention should I use?” it can be helpful to ask, “Which emotional lever needs support right now?”

Below are six mechanisms that underpin many effective emotion regulation strategies used in therapy.

1. Attention regulation

Where attention goes, emotional intensity often follows. When clients become fixated on distressing thoughts or bodily sensations, emotions may escalate quickly. Helping them shift or stabilize their attention can interrupt this cycle (Wadlinger & Isaacowitz, 2011).

Attention regulation may involve redirecting attention or sustaining attention intentionally. Anchoring attention to the present moment can reduce rumination and create space for regulation (Hammerdahl et al., 2025).

For example, you might guide anxious clients to slowly name five things they can see in the room. This simple shift in attention can help stabilize emotional activation (Ferri et al., 2016).

2. Interoception and arousal modulation

Emotions are closely linked to bodily states. Changes in heart rate, breathing, and muscle tension often accompany emotional experiences (Volynets et al., 2020).

Interoception refers to the ability to notice these internal signals. Emotion regulation strategies targeting this mechanism aim to regulate physiological arousal, thereby improving regulatory skills (Pinna & Edwards, 2020).

When emotional activation is high, techniques such as slow breathing or grounding can help downshift arousal (Dörfel et al., 2014). Similarly, when clients feel emotionally numb or disengaged, movement or sensory stimulation may help increase activation.

Some researchers describe this capacity as vagal tone, referring to how effectively the nervous system moves between states of activation and calm (Porges et al., 1994).

3. Meaning-making and cognitive change

Emotions are shaped not only by events themselves but also by how those events are interpreted (McRae & Gross, 2020). Meaning-making strategies aim to shift emotional responses by changing interpretations (Pascual-Leone et al., 2016).

Examples include:

• Reappraisal (viewing a situation from another perspective)
• Decatastrophizing (examining worst-case assumptions)
• Psychological distancing (stepping back from immediate thoughts)

A client who interprets workplace feedback as proof of failure may experience intense anxiety. If the interpretation shifts toward viewing feedback as an opportunity for improvement, the emotional response may become more manageable.

4. Acceptance and willingness

Many clients struggle with difficult emotions and the secondary struggle of trying to suppress or eliminate them (Xu et al., 2025).

Acceptance-based strategies can reduce this struggle by encouraging individuals to allow emotional experiences without immediately reacting to them (Wojnarowska et al., 2020).

When people stop fighting their emotions, the intensity often changes naturally (Kober et al., 2019). For instance, you might invite clients to notice anxiety in their bodies and approach the sensation with curiosity rather than resistance.

5. Behavioral selection

Emotions are often linked to strong action urges (Frijda et al., 2014). Anger may push someone toward confrontation, anxiety toward avoidance, and sadness toward withdrawal.

Many emotion regulation strategies involve choosing actions that differ from these automatic impulses (Brosch & Steg, 2021). A client who feels the urge to avoid a difficult conversation might instead take a small step toward engagement. By selecting actions that align with personal goals or values, emotional patterns can gradually shift (Wang & Milyavskaya, 2020).

6. Relational regulation

Emotional experiences are also shaped by relationships. We frequently regulate emotions through co-regulation, the process by which supportive interactions help stabilize emotional states (Butler & Randall, 2013).

By being a calm and attentive therapist, you can help reduce emotional intensity through tone of voice, presence, and empathy.

Some therapeutic approaches focus explicitly on these relational dynamics. For example, emotionally focused therapy explores how emotional patterns unfold within relationships and how secure connection can support emotional regulation (Bazyari et al., 2024).

Once therapists understand the mechanisms behind emotion regulation strategies, the next step is helping clients practice the micro-skills that activate these mechanisms.

Micro-Skills That Support Emotion Regulation Strategies

While emotion regulation strategies may appear diverse, many rely on a small set of foundational micro-skills (Grant et al., 2018).

You can help clients practice these skills during therapy sessions and repeat them daily to gradually build emotional flexibility and resilience.

Emotion regulation skills build progressively. Awareness and attention form the foundation, while interpretation, behavior, and recovery skills support your client’s long-term emotional flexibility, as can be seen in the emotion regulation strategies skill ladder.

Below are eight core micro-skills that support effective regulation skills (Naragon-Gainey et al., 2017).

1. Notice and name

This is the ability to recognize emotional signals as they arise. This involves noticing cues in the body, thoughts, and action urges.

Why it matters

Awareness is the first step in regulation. When emotions remain vague or unnoticed, we may react impulsively rather than respond intentionally.

When to use it

Use it at the earliest signs of emotional activation.

Therapist prompt

“What are you noticing? What is happening in your body? What do you notice about your thoughts and your urge to act right now?”

Client micro-practice

Ask clients to pause and identify three signals: a physical sensation, a thought, and a behavioral urge connected to the emotion. Encourage clients to practice being aware of emotional activation and engaging the micro-practice as soon and as often as they can.

Our Mapping Emotions tool could be a great help with this micro-practice.

2. Label with specificity

The ability to describe emotions precisely rather than using broad terms such as “bad” or “stressed” is sometimes referred to as emotional granularity. It involves identifying the specific quality of an emotional experience.

Why it matters

Research suggests that labeling emotions with specificity can reduce emotional intensity and increase emotional clarity (Vlasenko et al., 2021).

When to use it

Use it once the presence of emotion has been noticed.

Therapist prompt

“If ‘upset’ feels too general, what kind of upset is this: frustration, disappointment, anxiety, or something else?”

Client micro-practice

Write down the emotion and identify one or two related emotions that may also be present.

Check out Emotional Intelligence Theories & Components Explained for more details regarding emotional granularity.

3. Anchor attention

This involves stabilizing attention in the present through sensory awareness or mindful focus.

Why it matters

Attention regulation can interrupt rumination and prevent emotions from escalating.

When to use it

Use it during moderate or high emotional activation, especially when thoughts begin to spiral.

Therapist prompt

“Let’s slow down and notice five things you can see or hear in the room.”

Client micro-practice

Use the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory grounding exercise.

Our article 10+ Mindful Grounding Techniques (Incl. Group Exercise) provides several grounding practices you can use with clients.

4. Allow and accept

This practice involves shifting from resisting emotions to allowing them to be present without immediate avoidance or suppression.

Why it matters

Resistance to emotion often creates secondary emotional reactions, such as shame or frustration about feeling a certain way.

When to use it

Use it when clients become stuck in emotional struggle or self-criticism.

Therapist prompt

“What happens if we make space for this feeling rather than trying to push it away?”

Client micro-practice

Place a hand on your chest and silently acknowledge the emotion as you breathe slowly.

Our 4 Best Self-Soothing Techniques & Strategies for Adults provides more ways for clients to allow and accept emotions.

5. Reframe meaning

This practice explores alternative interpretations of events to shift emotional responses.

Why it matters

Emotions are shaped not only by events but also by how we interpret those events.

When to use it

Use it when emotional distress is driven by catastrophic or rigid thinking.

Therapist prompt

“What might be another possible explanation for what happened?”

Client micro-practice

Write down the initial thought and generate two alternative interpretations.

Take a deeper dive into reframing meaning by reading our article on Cognitive Restructuring: The Power of Reframing Thoughts.

6. Choose behavior

This involves selecting actions intentionally rather than following automatic emotional urges.

Why it matters

Emotions often drive impulses such as avoidance, confrontation, or withdrawal. Consciously choosing behavior will allow clients to act in ways aligned with their goals and values.

When to use it

Use it when clients feel compelled to react impulsively to an emotion.

Therapist prompt

“If you weren’t driven by this urge, what action would move you closer to the kind of person you want to be?”

Client micro-practice

Take one small action aligned with personal values rather than emotional impulse.

What Is Behavior Change in Psychology? 5 Models and Theories outlines ways your clients can work on more conscious behavior choices.

7. Repair and recover

This practice involves reflecting on emotional episodes after they occur and restoring emotional balance.

Why it matters

Learning from emotional experiences helps individuals develop more effective strategies for future situations.

When to use it

Use it after emotional escalation has passed.

Therapist prompt

“What do you notice about what triggered the emotion and what helped it settle?”

Client micro-practice

Write a brief reflection describing the trigger, the emotional response, and one helpful coping strategy used.

Our Understanding Vicious Cycles Worksheet is a helpful tool for clients to repair and recover.

8. Build capacity over time

This practice supports emotional resilience through foundational lifestyle factors, including sleep, nutrition, physical activity, and social support.

Why it matters

Regulatory capacity is influenced by overall physiological and psychological wellbeing.

When to use it

Use it as part of long-term emotional skill-building.

Therapist prompt

“What habits or routines help your nervous system feel more balanced?”

Client micro-practice

Identify one daily practice that supports emotional wellbeing, such as a brief walk, consistent sleep schedule, or mindful pause.

How to Change Behavior & Habits: 15 Therapy Techniques is a helpful resource for supporting clients in building more sustained wellbeing.

Together, these eight micro-skills form the building blocks of effective emotion regulation strategies (Iwakabe et al., 2023). By strengthening awareness, attention, interpretation, and behavior, clients can develop greater flexibility in responding to emotional experiences.

When to Use What: The Selection Guide

One of the most common challenges we as practitioners face is knowing which emotion regulation strategies to use at a particular moment. Many techniques can be helpful, but their effectiveness often depends on timing, emotional intensity, and the underlying drivers of the emotional response (Wylie et al., 2022).

A helpful way to approach strategy selection is to ask four guiding questions (McRae & Gross, 2020).

1. When are we intervening?

Emotion regulation strategies often differ depending on when they are applied (Sheppes & Gross, 2011). For example:

• Before the emotional wave
  Interventions focus on prevention and early awareness. Your clients may learn to notice triggers and recognize early emotional signals before escalation occurs.
• During the emotional wave
  The priority becomes stabilization. Strategies often focus on calming clients’ nervous systems or interrupting emotional escalation.
• After the emotional wave
  Once emotional intensity has decreased, reflection and learning become possible. This stage allows clients to explore patterns and develop new responses.

2. How intense is the emotional arousal?

Emotional intensity strongly influences which strategies are likely to be effective (Wylie et al., 2022).

• Low intensity
  When emotional activation is relatively mild, individuals often have enough cognitive flexibility to reflect on the situation. Cognitive strategies such as reframing or problem-solving can be effective.
• Moderate intensity
  At moderate levels of distress, a combination of strategies may be helpful. Attention regulation, grounding, and cognitive reflection may all play a role.
• High intensity
  During intense emotional states, physiological regulation strategies are often necessary before cognitive approaches can work effectively.

3. What is driving the emotion?

Understanding the primary driver of the emotional response can guide intervention choices (Gross & D’Ambrosio, 2004). Some common drivers include:

• Body-based arousal
  An emotional experience may be dominated by physiological activation, such as rapid heart rate, tension, or panic.
• Threat appraisal
  This occurs when distress arises from interpreting events as dangerous or catastrophic.
• Interpersonal cues
  Emotions may be triggered by relational interactions, conflict, or perceived rejection.
• Uncertainty or loss
  This drives emotional distress that emerges from ambiguous situations, change, or grief.

4. What is the goal in this moment?

Emotion regulation strategies may serve different goals depending on the situation (Greenaway et al., 2021). Possible goals could include:

• Stabilizing emotional intensity
• Understanding emotional patterns
• Communicating feelings constructively
• Choosing different behaviors
• Recovering after distress

A Practical Strategy Selection Guide

A client experiencing panic during a stressful meeting may first benefit from breathing techniques. Once the physiological arousal decreases, cognitive strategies such as perspective-taking may become more effective.

The following table summarizes how practitioners can match emotion regulation strategies to such emotional situations (Chin et al., 2024).

Implementing Emotion Regulation Strategies: A Simple 4-Step Plan

Once you understand the mechanisms and micro-skills involved in emotion regulation, the next step is integrating them into a practical structure you can use in your sessions. We have created the following four-step arc to help guide your clients from awareness to long-term emotional flexibility.

1. Assess patterns and triggers

The first step in helping clients understand their emotional patterns is to identify common triggers, notice early warning signs, and explore how emotions typically unfold.

You may want to ask questions such as:

• What situations tend to trigger strong emotions?
• What happens in your body, thoughts, and behavior when those emotions arise?
• How long do emotional reactions usually last?

Assessment tools can help clarify these patterns. For example, the Emotion Regulation Questionnaire provides insight into the strategies individuals habitually use to manage emotions.

2. Stabilize emotional responses

Before deeper cognitive or behavioral work can occur, clients may benefit from bottom-up learning strategies that stabilize emotional intensity (Chiesa et al., 2013).

These tools focus on calming physiological activation and restore a sense of safety.

PositivePsychology.com resources that may be helpful with this step include:

• 10+ Mindful Grounding Techniques (Incl. Group Exercise)
• What Is Nervous System Regulation & Why Is It Important?

3. Build meaning and behavior tools

Once clients have emotion regulation strategies for stabilizing emotional intensity, you can introduce tools that will help reshape their responses.

This stage may include developing skills to identify emotional triggers, reframe interpretations, and choose actions that align with personal goals and values.

Structured skills-training approaches may be particularly useful here, such as those described in 21 DBT Emotional Regulation Skills & Worksheets and Affect Regulation Training: 10 Applications in Therapy.

4. Maintain progress and expand capacity

Finally, your clients will benefit from developing a maintenance plan that helps sustain their progress over time. This may include identifying early warning signs of emotional escalation, creating relapse-prevention strategies, and practicing recovery rituals such as reflection, self-compassion, and supportive conversations.

Over time, you can also help clients expand their window of tolerance, strengthening their ability to navigate emotional challenges without becoming overwhelmed.

Helpful PositivePsychology.com Resources

If you would like to expand on the skills described in this article, the following tools and resources can help you support clients in building greater emotional awareness, flexibility, and resilience.

Further reading

What Is Emotional Awareness? 6 Worksheets to Develop EI introduces emotional intelligence, explains what we mean by emotional awareness, and provides tools to measure and increase this vital ability.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence (Incl. Quotes) explains how emotional intelligence is crucial for personal and professional success, influencing how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make decisions.

Tools

Emotion Regulation Worksheet for Adults helps clients recognize their emotions.

Understanding Emotion Versus Reason helps clients separate the emotional side of their thinking and respond from the rational one.

Build your therapy skills

The Life Navigation© Masterclass Series is a comprehensive positive psychology certification program designed to help you deepen your expertise and expand your impact. The program includes practical frameworks and coaching methods that support core skills relevant to emotion, such as emotional awareness, cognitive reframing, and value-based action.

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others develop emotional intelligence, this collection contains 17 validated EI tools for practitioners. Use them to help others understand and use their emotions to their advantage.

A Take-Home Message

Emotion regulation improves when you match the right mechanism to the right moment using foundational micro-skills rather than relying on a single favorite technique.

By using the emotion regulation strategies shared here, where you match techniques to specific situations, you can help clients move beyond “strategy shopping” toward more consistent emotional wellbeing.

Your clients’ emotion regulation improves when they learn to notice emotional signals, regulate physiological responses, reconsider their interpretations, and choose behaviors that support their values.

Over time, these skills can help transform emotional challenges into opportunities for growth, resilience, and greater self-awareness.

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